The "woke news media" has gotten out of control with their influence over the young and impressionable minds of America's youth. Trying to force crazy ideas into their heads, like "communism" and drinking "oat milk". Joe "Brandon" Biden has effectively stripped the masculinity from America's young men with this brainwashing psyop. But it's finally coming to an end.

Real, red-blooded American patriots are standing up to the woke agenda. Brave souls like Andrew Tate, Jordan Peterson, Ben Shapiro, and Elon Musk (not Kanye though he's a little too extreme and also his skin color is wrong and he looks different from us) are speaking out and opposing the libtard media. And with Elon purchasing Twitter, we finally have one of our guys on the inside. Can't deplatform us if we own the platform. Now we get to do the deplatforming. And Elon is going to end the woke mind virus.

They're going to pay for banning Trump. We'll ban Brandon, how about that? How about we ban CNN? How'd you like that, liberal? Not so tough now, are you, ya bunch of hipster yuppies in your big cities? And we're gonna start by banning Rick and Morty.

Actual tweets from woke news agent Rick and Morty.

"See, real patriots would understand the demonic symbolism in Rick and Morty. The grandpa, Rick, represents Saturn. Throughout the show, Rick attempts to pervert and corrupt Morty, and ultimately devour him in a metaphorical sense. Rick strives to be immortal, and does so at Morty's expense by draining him of his freedom and innocence. Just as the elite drink fetus blood to be young forever, and experiment on children to learn the secrets to immortality." Elon explained in a real, verified American Twitter post. Exposing the elite for their evil Saturn worship and child sacrifice rituals. These claims were fact checked by real American patriots. Elon then banned Rick and Morty, so that they wouldn't be able to poison any more minds with weird and crazy ideas like "what if I'd look better as a girl" or "maybe I'm unhappy because I'm not having enough sex". Sex is bad and sinful, and real patriots know semen retention is the key to maximizing their testosterone. Stop having sex, stop cumming. Don't you care about America?

Elon Musk has contemplated purchasing Adult Swim, and using it to broadcast real American entertainment instead of this weird sissy hypno bullshit that Rick and Morty is. Elon claimed he would also be willing to bankroll original content, as the unfortunate truth is that liberals seem to have a monopoly on mainstream media. It's almost impossible to find anything on TV, or even in movies, that isn't full of anti-American brainwashing material. You just can't turn on the TV anymore and find something with American family values. It's a God damned tragedy. An outrage, really.

I'm just glad I'll never have to see a "Pickle Rick" again. Which, of course, is another satanic image. "Pickling", as in preserving, the body of Saturn in order to make him immortal. Who, again, is their demonic pagan god that they worship. They believe that they will also obtain some of his immortality, in an occult sense. "As above, so below", as they say. When the king of the pagan gods is immortal, so too will the Saturn worshiping "kings" of mankind that raise us as cattle.

Please remember to eat some steak and not jerk off. This is the eternal battle of good and evil, here. Take it seriously, this isn't a joke.