While gamers all over have been eagerly awaiting the sequel to The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild, it appears we're gonna have to wait just a little bit longer. Nintendo dropped the unfortunate, yet promising news that the game is being pushed back for some essential polishing.
The goal? Make Princess Zelda's ass even fatter. This is no easy goal, as you may know. Her ass is already particularly round, plump, and jiggly. Her body shape has been expertly crafted by Nintendo, and some believe there is no possible way that her ass could get even fatter. But those brave souls at Nintendo are willing to risk it all in order to ensure Zelda's ass is pushed to the absolute maximum.
As Miyamoto once said, "A delayed ass is eventually fat, but a rushed ass is forever flat".
The team at Nintendo have been working around the clock, facing an unprecedented level of crunch, as they work to make Zelda's fat dumptruck ass even larger, even more wobbly and bubbly. Miyamoto, who has been overseeing the work, has insisted upon such a high level of refinement and composition to her ass, it's like they're sculpting a Greek statue or something. Like from marble. Except it's polygons or some shit.
Nintendo has had multiple women in and out to scan their asses for reference purposes, but this is not enough, as they want to create an ass so perfect that it transcends the human perception of ass. Like a pure, platonic form of ass that all other asses are derived from. Every ass on Earth will appear imperfect and transient in its presence.
Breath of the Wild 2 is currently slated for early next year, but this may just be Miyamoto's life work, and it may take him until the final years of his life to perfect the fattest ass the world has ever seen.