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twitter "Twitter Files" Leaks Private DMs Where Trump Roleplayed "Naruto Getting Head" With Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu All of Twitter's skeletons have been getting dragged out of the closet since Elon took over. Every misuse of power, every potential scandal that was swept under the rug. Elon
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world war iii Duolingo Introduces "Duolingo For War" With international tensions rising and the threat of war looming overhead, many have felt a little uneasy. Your comfortable way of life may be threatened by forces out of your
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antisemitism Tetris To Remove "S" Block Over Claims Of Anti-Semitism Anti-Semitism and racism have always been rampant problems in the gamer sphere. If it's not some popular "YouTube streamer" spouting slurs or angry hate mobs calling for the white-washing of
jihad Female Activision Blizzard Employees Must Now Wear Head Covering To Prevent Harassment Activision Blizzard, in the latest attempt to damage control their spiraling PR nightmare, has taken drastic measure to curb all sexual harassment in the workplace. Their HR department is under
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future has arrived today in
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump
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kanye west BREAKING: Trump And Biden Worked Together To Stop Kanye Presidency Biden and Trump have gone head to head for an incredibly tense election, with the entire country anxiously waiting for one of these people we absolutely did not want to
4 inches is average Trump And Biden Both Refuse Mandatory Penis Inspection The race for the presidency has been extremely tight, and we still have no idea which of the two was able to commit voter fraud more successfully. It could be
bill gates Government Releases Plan To Force Sissy Femboy Shots On Everyone The Trump Administration along with Bill Gates have officially released their plans to forcefully inject everyone in the world with sissy feminization serum. The "vaccine", as they're calling it, will
god help us Barron Trump Chosen To Pilot Experimental Mecha To Fight Alien Menace President Trump's very own son Barron was given a great honor late last night, when NASA announced completion of their latest project. Three experimental cyborg mechas were given the green
breaking news BREAKING: The Q In Q-Anon Stands For Quizno's Authorities have finally figured out the identity of the mysterious hacker 4Chan, leader of Anonymous. Their latest plot, dubbed "Q-Anon", was an absolute mystery to federal agents, as the hacker
clean your fucking controller GameStop Employee Accidentally Synthesizes Adrenochrome From Controller Scrapings A GameStop employee was in quite the shock yesterday after accidentally creating adrenochrome, the mythical drug supposedly used by the wealthy elite. "I dunno man, I was just doing my
breaking news Ghislaine Maxwell: "The 1% Get High And Play Kirby Air Ride All Day" The world has been waiting with baited breath for the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell, if it'll ever come. Some fear she won't survive long enough to testify. The long-time accomplice
deus vult Kanye: "We Will Retake Jerusalem" America will be ushering in a new age of crusaders, according to presidential hopeful Kanye West. The rapper, now poised to turn America's democracy into a theocracy, insists that our
wholesome World Officials Call For Beach Episode Amid International Riots And Pandemics The UN has called for an international beach episode in response to the nonstop slew of war, strife, famine, and plague. The world needs some ass and titties now more
world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
america Nonessential Wandering Traders Hold Protests Outside Federal Buildings To Reopen Economy Despite COVID-19 Pandemic COVID-19 has had the nation, and the rest of the world, petrified. The risk of catching it, and the devastation it’s left in its wake everywhere it’s gone,
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