Biden: "I Could've Stopped The Pandemic Sooner, I'm Built Different"

With the election drawing ever closer, Joe Biden took an opportunity to make a few jabs at Trump in a recent interview. COVID-19 has ravaged the globe, and brought America's economy to a screeching halt. Many people blame Trump for not acting sooner.

"Listen here, Jack. I could've ended this pandemic months ago. I wouldn't have let COVID spread. I know it devastated the planet, but I could've stopped it. I'm built different. I wouldn't stand for this malarkey. President Obama should have stopped it when he had the chance, and now we're paying the price."

Many feel that Trump did not do enough to stop the spread of COVID, but Biden insisted that he would have done even more than any other country combined. Single-handedly.

"I would've stopped the virus in its tracks. I'm not like you other niggas. We wouldn't have even needed this quarantine malarkey. I would've been right there, at the airport when China brought H1N1 over. I'm built different. President Obama might have dropped the ball and let those twin towers fall, but I would've stopped it. Just you wait, once I'm president, I'm gonna send the troops straight to 'Nam, and they'll pay for what they did to Pearl Harbor."

Biden's attendants quickly pulled him off stage, a trail of piss leaking from his pant legs. Trump responded on Twitter with an image of a yellow dog calling Biden a retard.

This country is doomed.