world war iii President Biden Escalates Tensions With Russia After Being Unmatched On Tinder Thousands of troops were moved to Ukraine's border over the past week, and even more are expected to be sent shortly, after a disappointing day of swiping through Tinder for
hollywood Andrew Garfield Lied To Get Into Hollywood, Is Not Actually Related To Garfield (Cat) "I'm so sorry, really, I am. What I did was dishonest, and wrong, and I've brought shame upon all of the films and directors that have worked with me, all
kanye west Kanye West Is Engaged To Hatsune Miku The rapper, who now goes by the name "Ye", made it official last night as he posted to Twitter that he had proposed to long-time collaborator Hatsune Miku. The two,
yiff Leaked Pokémon Legends: Arceus Screens Reveal Ability To Marry Your Pokémon Early copies of Pokémon Legends: Arceus have gotten out, and the leaks have already begun. All of the new Pokémon, new forms, evolutions, and more have been making the rounds,
sonic the hedgehog Sonic Fans Outraged That Sega Is Making A New Sonic Game Sega made Sonic fans furious today as they announced they would in fact be making a new Sonic game. Sonic fans took to the internet to voice their anger, some
wholesome chungus 100 Microsoft Acquires Domino's Amid Growing Need For Employee Pizza Parties It's a huge day for video games. Right when we thought Microsoft buying up Activision Blizzard was the craziest thing Microsoft would do this year, they immediately topped it by
tragic Undertale Pacifist Run Ruined As 8 Child Laborers Die In Cobalt Mining Incident A rather promising Undertale speed run was ruined last night when news broke of a mining incident that killed eight child laborors and left at least a dozen more injured.
cringe Researchers Create Self-Replicating "Xenobots", Living Robots That Suck At Smash Bros Researchers stunned the world when they announced their next big achievement in science, unveiling what sounded to most like man-made horrors beyond their comprehension. Tiny, self-replicating nanobots that are highly
wholesome chungus 100 Scientists Discover Cure For Fictional Scenarios In Your Head That Make You Feel Sad It's a problem we've all had at different times in our lives. Laying awake in bed, they're not texting you back, it's 3am. Your mind starts racing. What if everyone
yiff Sega Confirms Sonic Frontiers Will Have Strip Clubs When Sega announced the latest Sonic game would be open-world, many had their doubts about if such a thing would work out, especially with what little they showed of the
facebook US Senator Calls For Social Media Sites To End "Schizoposting" Senators had a rare chance to grill Facebook's global head of safety, a corporation infamous for conducting strange secret psychological experiments on its users and mass-collecting their information. Unfortunately, for
antisemitism Tetris To Remove "S" Block Over Claims Of Anti-Semitism Anti-Semitism and racism have always been rampant problems in the gamer sphere. If it's not some popular "YouTube streamer" spouting slurs or angry hate mobs calling for the white-washing of
we live in a society Chick-Fil-A Forced To Hire Black Employee Amid Labor Shortage Tough times have fallen on the American people. The economy has been devastated, political unrest is all over the news, and Walmart is no longer open 24 hours. It's like
we live in a society Shark Tale 2 Cancelled After Negative Reception To Scene Of Fish Being Shot 16 Times By Police Once again, the liberal left has taken something away from every good, red-blooded American. You can't live your life in this dystopian society anymore without those accursed libtards ruining everything.
jihad Female Activision Blizzard Employees Must Now Wear Head Covering To Prevent Harassment Activision Blizzard, in the latest attempt to damage control their spiraling PR nightmare, has taken drastic measure to curb all sexual harassment in the workplace. Their HR department is under
pornhub Activision Blizzard To DMCA Takedown All Overwatch Porn In Wake Of Harassment Lawsuit Activision Blizzard's PR has been having a rough time trying to smooth over all of the damage that has been caused by their big sexual harassment lawsuit. Nothing they say
gamers rise up Woman In Critical Condition After Husband Hits Her Over Head With Steam Deck A woman was rushed to the emergency room late last night after a fight with her husband, which ended with her being struck over the head with his Steam Deck.
god help us FDA Refuses To Approve Soulja Boy "Soulja Shot" Medicinal Injection Our prayers have finally been answered. The unending nightmare that's gripped our crumbling world, sending the sheep into a panicking frenzy, it's finally over. At least that's what Soulja Boy
nintendo Metroid Dread Takes Place Inside Abandoned Kmart Fans have finally gotten what they wanted, a brand new Metroid game being released for the Nintendo Switch. We thought we'd never see the day, after Metroid Prime 4 was
no homo Study Finds Eating Cum Boosts Testosterone A new study from the researchers at Harvard has found that eating human cum provides an exceptional boost to testosterone, providing a myriad of benefits unseen in any other study
we live in a society Derek Chauvin Accepts Plea Bargain Of Appearing On BLACKED America has emerged victorious from the era of Trump's hate and bigotry. Bills are being passed, people are being vaccinated, the immigrant children in cages are now being held in
piss world New Bill Makes Unskippable Google Ads Mandatory Before Every Mandatory Fact Check A controversial new bill was just passed by the Senate, making the unskippable Google ads before a mandatory fact check on any particular article or meme completely mandatory. The mandatory
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future has arrived today in
wholesome chungus 100 Elon Musk Invents Brain Chip To Play Among Us In Real Life It's a brave new world we live in, computers can now do so much. And they can now do even more than your brain can. It's true. It's true. They
