Epic Games has secured yet another impressive crossover for Fortnite. Move over Rick and Morty. Joining the impressive roster of collaboration characters like Goku, Master Chief, and Thanos is "Larry" from Quaker Oats. Quaker's parent company PepsiCo has struck up an incredible deal with Epic that will shake up how gamers play Fortnite like never before.

"We really feel as if this newer generation of young folk could really benefit from the traditional, old-fashioned principles of the Quaker Oats company." PepsiCo's representative said in an official press statement. "Kids are eating unhealthy diets, living unhealthy lives. Quaker Oats was founded on core beliefs that these kids need in their lives. Like preventing masturbation."

"Larry", which Quaker Oats confirmed is the mascot's name, will be flossing his way into Fortnite, and bringing with him plenty of oats. And oatmeal. And anti-masturbatory advice.

Larry will have no more of this degeneracy.

"There's a lot of misconceptions about quakers, some of them are very supportive of homosexuality. Some of them aren't. It's really kind of like any other religion, you get all kinds. A lot of quakers really believe in unity, and they don't... They're actually supportive. The Quaker Oats company believes love is love. But oh, that Larry! What a guy, am I right?" PepsiCo's representative explained. "Larry HATES gay people, and people that masturbate, and anyone else he considers a degenerate. Hey, don't feel bad, he thinks Jews and pagans are degenerates too." The representative got nervous, backpedaled a bit, before doubling down. "He's from a different time period, it's just the character, he's... Look, he doesn't represent Quaker Oats in that way. What does it fucking matter anyway? Do [expletive]s eat oatmeal? Is that our demographic?"

Larry Oatmeal (I don't know his last name) will kickstart the new Quaker Oats event, which will have players log in daily to reaffirm that they had not masturbated that night, and had eaten their wholesome oatmeal breakfast. New weapons will also be added, like the "Oatzooka", which will fire globs of oatmeal to ensnare your opponents and render them utterly helpless.

Players that manage a consecutive streak throughout the entire event will be rewarded with a coupon for 10% off any Quaker Oats product valid anywhere Quaker Oats products are sold.