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world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
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joe biden Joe Biden Declares That He Will Be America's First Black President Former vice president Joe Biden has officially announced today that he will be the first black president of the United States. With tensions escalating as the election draws near, Biden
albanians Twitch's Safety Advisory Council Now Only Permits Voice Chat In Albanian Twitch has been making strides to raise up marginalized gamers with its new Safety Advisory Council, a group of social media experts and Twitch streamers that overlook and provide guidance
assassin's creed Ubisoft Confirms New Assassin's Creed Will Suck This Year Too Assassin's Creed fans have been eagerly awaiting the next installment in the Assassin's Creed franchise, desperate for any bit of news from Ubisoft on what the newest title might include.
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coronavirus Report: Trump Suggests Injecting Red Lobster Biscuits To Cure COVID-19 In an official statement from the White House today, President Donald Trump addressed the nation with a new COVID-19 update, stating that America's top scientists had finally found a true
animal crossing Gunman Kills 13 In Worst Pen Island Mass Shooting Ever A masked gunman stormed Nook's Cranny Thursday night right before closing time, opening fire on all of the villagers inside. 13 villagers were killed, including store clerks Timothy Nook and
playstation 5 Sony Confirms PS5 Launches With Sissy Hypno Sony officially confirmed today that their new console, the PlayStation 5, will be launching with sissy hypno. The announcement, which has already been circulated around Reddit with feverish anticipation, has
america Nonessential Wandering Traders Hold Protests Outside Federal Buildings To Reopen Economy Despite COVID-19 Pandemic COVID-19 has had the nation, and the rest of the world, petrified. The risk of catching it, and the devastation it’s left in its wake everywhere it’
bestiality New Study Finds Fucking Your Dog Prevents COVID-19 Leading experts on the COVID-19 pandemic have made a startling breakthrough in the fight against this horrible disease. There may just be a cure yet for the COVID-19 virus. It
joe biden Joe Biden Appoints Sasuke Uchiha To Be New Vessel For His Soul, Vows To Use Power Of The Sharingan To Defeat Trump The race for the presidency has begun heating up. Hidden Leaf Village senator Bernie Sanders has fallen in battle, opening up the path to the nomination for Joe Biden. While
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coronavirus GameStop Offers New Service Where They Come To Your House And Rob You Amid COVID-19 Concerns The COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way our world works, in a lot of ways. There’s been a big shift towards online shopping, delivery drivers have started doing
anal World Health Organization Issues New Guidelines Suggesting Regular Anal Bleaching To Prevent Spread Of COVID-19 The WHO issued new guidelines today in the ongoing battle against the international COVID-19 pandemic. The virus, which seems to spread in every way imaginable, has left many in a
piss world Can We Pretend Like Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars? Are you prepared, Son of Man? The great crossroads of fate is upon us. He has once again sent an Ordeal, a baptism of fire, to test the righteous and
bernie sanders Bloomberg To Buttigieg: "You're Alright, Don't Come To The Next Debate" Democratic nominee hopeful Michael Bloomberg sent a rather ominous message just last night to another candidate running for President. After the last debate, which saw Michael Bloomberg get relentlessly torn
animal crossing HEARTWARMING: Man Who Preordered Every Single Animal Crossing Switch To Sell On eBay Will Piss And Shit On All Of Them To Keep Them Warm Animal Crossing fans the world over were thrilled when Nintendo announced the official Animal Crossing New Horizons special edition Switch console. The cute console, with its light blue and green
baby nut BREAKING: Senate Votes For Baby Nut To Die By Firing Squad Execution A verdict was finally reached in the trial of convicted war criminal Baby Nut. The Senate has voted overwhelmingly in favor of an old-fashioned firing squad execution, which is currently
anime BREAKING: United States Declares Public Health Emergency Over Outbreak Of Sword Art Online Fans United States officials have declared Sword Art Online fans to be a public health emergency today, as cases of the severe mental illness have climbed into the hundreds of thousands.
breaking BREAKING: Goku Has Died Of Coronavirus It’s a sad day for all of Planet Earth. The world’s savior and hero, Goku, has passed away due to Coronavirus, which has been spreading like
baby yoda BREAKING: Fire Emblem Character Qualifies For Next Democratic Debate Over Bernie Sanders Everyone watching the Democratic debates on February 7th will definitely be feeling the burn, not because of Bernie Sanders, but because a different candidate has just qualified from the Fire
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