joe biden Biden: "We Should Legalize Crack" Joe Biden has been struggling to capture the hearts of voters across the country, being quite possibly the weakest choice and yet somehow being chosen to go head to head
playstation New "SonyFans" Program Will Allow PS5 Users To Pay To Watch People Play Better Games The hype for the next generation of consoles has been ramping up. PS5 and Xbox Series X are on their way, and both console makers have been making preparations for
bill gates Government Releases Plan To Force Sissy Femboy Shots On Everyone The Trump Administration along with Bill Gates have officially released their plans to forcefully inject everyone in the world with sissy feminization serum. The "vaccine", as they're calling it, will
presidential debate Both Trump And Biden Don't Know Who Painted Mona Lisa The first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden was an absolute clusterfuck. Complete shitshow. Neither of them could get anything coherent out, or make any actual points. I
politics Senate Can't Agree On Whether To Photoshop RBG Into Heaven Or Hell Meme It was sad news when Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed, but with her passing comes the important debate that the fate of America hinges on. Does she belong in Meme Heaven
joe biden Biden: "I Could've Stopped The Pandemic Sooner, I'm Built Different" With the election drawing ever closer, Joe Biden took an opportunity to make a few jabs at Trump in a recent interview. COVID-19 has ravaged the globe, and brought America's
grand theft auto Rockstar Announces Mostly Peaceful Theft Auto VI Rockstar Games has its work cut out for them handling the next installment of the Grand Theft Auto franchise. Producing another entry in such a juggernaut of a series is
piss Leftist Meme Page Admin Caught Plagiarizing Essay Portion Of Meme An absolutely disgraceful day in court today as popular leftist meme page "Just Anarcho-communist Things" was busted plagiarizing the essay portion of one of their memes. "I couldn't believe it.
god help us Barron Trump Chosen To Pilot Experimental Mecha To Fight Alien Menace President Trump's very own son Barron was given a great honor late last night, when NASA announced completion of their latest project. Three experimental cyborg mechas were given the green
breaking news BREAKING: The Q In Q-Anon Stands For Quizno's Authorities have finally figured out the identity of the mysterious hacker 4Chan, leader of Anonymous. Their latest plot, dubbed "Q-Anon", was an absolute mystery to federal agents, as the hacker
breaking news Biden And Trump Unite To Stop Space Colony ARK From Crashing Into Earth In a shocking turn of events, the Democratic convention ended with both Biden and Trump hand in hand. The two eternal rivals were forced to team up in a surprise
joe biden Joe Biden Picks Former Obama VP Joe Biden To Be Vice President "He did such a good job as Obama's VP, has anyone seen that guy? Whatever happened to him?" Biden said in a press conference, as he selected former vice president
furries Trump Adds Fur Affinity To Growing List Of Banned Social Media Platforms The war against TikTok and WeChat was only the beginning for President Trump, as he's now taken to banning even more problematic social networking sites from operating. Popular furry website
hyper-realistic Ellen: "The Red Mist Is Coming" Ellen had a rather bizarre message for her fans late last night, posting an enigmatic video to all of her socials. The video begins with Ellen in her room, playing
epstein Unsealed Documents Expose Bill Clinton As Avid My Hero Academia Fan Rumors and conspiracy theories have followed the Clintons for years, from rigging the 2016 election to Epstein and beyond. But newly unsealed documents from the Ghislaine Maxwell case have revealed
breaking news Newly Unsealed Documents Reveal Ghislaine Maxwell's Secret Husband Ghislaine Maxwell's secret husband has been officially revealed in a newly unsealed court document. Though Maxwell pleaded not guilty to assisting Epstein in the enticement and trafficking of minors, all
esports Competitive Smash Players Must Now Register Into A Database, Notify Neighbors Competitive Smash players now cannot legally be within 500 feet of schools, and must notify neighbors, thanks to a new law passed after the latest grooming scandal. The new law
the end times Kanye Forges Pact With Merkabah, Throne Chariot of God, To Cleanse America Of Sin One of the most powerful humans on Earth and presidential hopeful Kanye West has just ascended to an even higher plane of being. Throne Chariot of God and Archangel Merkabah
clean your fucking controller GameStop Employee Accidentally Synthesizes Adrenochrome From Controller Scrapings A GameStop employee was in quite the shock yesterday after accidentally creating adrenochrome, the mythical drug supposedly used by the wealthy elite. "I dunno man, I was just doing my
breaking news Ghislaine Maxwell: "The 1% Get High And Play Kirby Air Ride All Day" The world has been waiting with baited breath for the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell, if it'll ever come. Some fear she won't survive long enough to testify. The long-time accomplice
deus vult Kanye: "We Will Retake Jerusalem" America will be ushering in a new age of crusaders, according to presidential hopeful Kanye West. The rapper, now poised to turn America's democracy into a theocracy, insists that our
poopoo peepee Kanye West Poops His Pants At White House Briefing Controversial rapper Kanye West surprised the nation when he announced he'd be running for president in 2020. No one was sure whether to take him seriously or not, but he
china Trump Calls To Remove "Chinese Fighter" From Smash Amid Rising COVID Tensions President Trump had a lot to say this morning about the newest addition to the Super Smash Bros roster, ARMS representative Min Min. While there were many hoping for a
coronavirus BREAKING: Dr. Mario Finds Red-Yellow Pill Cures COVID-19 The fight against COVID-19 is finally over, as leading expert Doctor Mario Mario has discovered the exact formula for the vaccine. A pill that is one half red, one half
fuck jimmy kimmel BLM Tear Down Jimmy Kimmel Statues Not Because He Did Blackface But Just Because He's Not Funny Black Lives Matter protestors have begun tearing down statues of unfunny talentless shill Jimmy Kimmel, completely unrelated to the blackface photos that surfaced recently. Yes, Jimmy Kimmel did blackface long
