Bloomberg To Buttigieg: "You're Alright, Don't Come To The Next Debate"

Democratic nominee hopeful Michael Bloomberg sent a rather ominous message just last night to another candidate running for President.

After the last debate, which saw Michael Bloomberg get relentlessly torn down and questioned about his platform, his notorious behavior around women, and his blatant racism, Bloomberg reached out to Pete Buttigieg with the message “You’re alright, don’t come to the next debate” accompanied by images of Michael Bloomberg posing with several guns.

The message, which appears to be a threat of possible violence at the next debate, also included several images of Bloomberg in a trench coat, which appeared to be several sizes too big, as it was dragging along the floor behind him.

Bloomberg only comes in at about 5’8, a short 5’8 at that. Elizabeth Warren is 5’8 and looks like she needs bread crumbs vacuumed out of her skin folds, yet still manages to emasculate Bloomberg. Whether Bloomberg would be a credible threat with a semi-automatic weapon remains to be seen, some speculate that his little arms might have a hard time holding it properly, or that the recoil of the shot may sweep him off his feet and cause him to fly backwards like something out of a Looney Tunes bit.

When reached out to for questions, Bloomberg scoffed and rolled his eyes, pulling the hood of his sweatshirt over his eyes and turning up the volume on his iPod. He then refused to make eye contact or talk with us, but would occasionally throw glances filled with angst and malice towards us while clutching his backpack and looking out the window of the school bus.

He would mutter quietly to himself and smile sometimes, his eyes tearing up. “You won’t be laughing at the next debate” he said, a little too quiet to be heard but a little too loud to be talking to himself, his socially awkward demeanor only making us laugh at him more. We later dunked his head in the school toilet and took his lunch money.

It’s still unclear whether the little guy is a credible threat or not, but I mean what are the chances? I kinda doubt it. Just look at him. I guess we’ll just have to wait until the next debate.