CIA Declassifies Gun That Instantly Uploads 2.5 Petabytes Of Gay Furry Art Into Target's Brain
Many have speculated about what kinds of secrets the government has been hiding from us. Alien life, secrets of the universe, man-made horrors beyond our comprehension. Some things have been declassified over time. What we know about the "unidentified flying objects" (lizard people), how they're definitely out there and not just "balloons" or something. They're actually under the ocean, living in giant dome colonies. Trying to make us all gay. Common knowledge now.
But what we all suspected has finally been revealed. The killing of JFK, how they did it, the weapon they used. A fate more horrible than anyone could have imagined. You think they torture terrorists bad? They torture their own citizens worse. We live in a tyrannical Nazi state. They're Nazis, you know. Like, real ones. Hitler? Remember that guy? Remember how we just kinda scooped up all their scientists and just hung a bunch of nobodies instead? Who do you think runs the shadow government? You're all just subjects for their bizarre experiments. They're the ones putting the 5G femboy hypnosis in your smartphones. It's 5D chess. They infiltrated, they took it over. They pull all the strings. And they invented a gun that instantly uploads 2.5 petabytes of furry porn into your brain.
That's how they killed JFK. That's how they killed Epstein. Crazy stuff. It's like a telepathic flashbang. Some Men in Black kinda shit, for real. You're just minding your own business, and it's like your life flashes before your eyes. Except your life is an agonizing eternity of anthropomorphic animals committing depraved acts. And I'm talking real fucked up.
"The technology is utterly terrifying. It functions much like a drug-induced period of hallucinations. In reality, as soon as the projectile makes contact with the target, their head simply explodes within maybe a second. But to them, reality dissolves into a nightmarish hellscape that seems to go on for a lifetime. One nightmarish scene blends into the next, locking the victim in endless cycles of gay furry erotica. It feels like over a lifetime, any sense of time is out the window. Do you know how much 2.5 petabytes is? A lot. And having that much information surging into the brain all at once, it causes a lot of blood to pump straight to the brain, to the point of causing mass hemorrhaging. The skull explodes just from the pressure of it all. It's like a computer overheating and exploding. It really shouldn't be allowed to exist. It's a crime against humanity, against nature, against God. I would much rather just be waterboarded. God, have mercy on our souls." An excerpt from the declassified documents reads, with a number of scientists and engineers expressing their desire to discontinue their work on the project and destroy all of their research. But what the military wants, the military gets. It's honestly tragic. Good thing I'm not some stupid nerd that gets pushed around by some idiots with guns.
The atrocities of war are only going to get sillier. I hope you're ready. We are entering an era unlike anything you've ever seen before. You can see it now, with information warfare rendering many civilians brain-dead. Nothing will make sense. The world will be overcome with madness. There's no escape. Embrace it. Embrace it, and you will live. The madness will consume all. The world will devolve into utter silliness.
May God have mercy on all of our souls.