Documents Obtained From Trump's Home Reveal Nancy Pelosi's Fat Milkers, Secret Love Affair

The FBI raided Trump's Florida home, and are said to have uncovered a slew of classified documents and papers. The former president is in some seriously hot water, but the worst of all seems to be leaked transcripts and notes from a series of letters and text messages between Trump and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. The two have been political enemies and rivals for Trump's entire term in office. But it seems that there was much more going on behind the scenes.

A series of a couple dozen images of both Trump and Pelosi reveal the two would sext regularly, and would even meet up to engage in coitus. Images, video, and text messages were retrieved from Trump's laptop that depicted the two engaging in hardcore, animalistic lovemaking. And damn, does Pelosi have some rack on her. Like, seriously. And they're lactating too, in case you were wondering. Damn. She's looking pretty good for her age. And Trump really doesn't look too bad either. He has to take a Viagra, it's not a built-in feature or anything, but damn can he go. Like a machine.

I can guarantee you've never seen anything as erotic as this. Imagine these two old reptilian geezers, hopped up on the kinds of drugs only billionaires can indulge in. They've had their shots of baby foreskin, and they're just going at it, knowing that they are gods to us and that no one in the world can bring them down. It's like, Superman hatefucking Wonder Woman or some shit, I dunno, I don't know who Superman hatefucks. Magneto? Or is that a different guy?

You can tell they're fucking. You can just feel the sparks, can't you?

I cannot even begin to describe just how mesmerizing the videos found on the laptop are. The way her breasts sway and jiggle, the way his hulking frame thrusts with such intense power. And their text messages read like what 50 Shades wishes it was, so intense and depraved it would make a pornstar find Jesus. You know, I feel like having the contents leaked wouldn't even be an L for either of them. Imagine having it leaked to the world just how much of a bad bitch you are, or just how good your dick is. Gotta admit, it's a W for both of them, just a bit shocking for anyone that actually cares about politics I guess. Their relationship apparently began on Epstein's island, where the two first met when they both used the same child's face to put out their cigars rolled with baby foreskin. But the affair didn't really heat up until Trump ran for president, making Pelosi his enemy.

Pelosi apparently can take it up the ass, and has no gag reflex. She gives that super sloppy toppy where your balls end up resting in a puddle of spit and cum, and allegedly made Trump's toes curl like a monkey trying to solve a Rubik's Cube with its feet. And Trump, allegedly, has better dick game than both Bill Clinton and Barack Obama. Yeah, Pelosi gets around.

So yeah. That happened. Pretty crazy, huh? Pelosi kind of a milf, not gonna lie.