Elon Musk Invents Brain Chip To Play Among Us In Real Life

It's a brave new world we live in, computers can now do so much. And they can now do even more than your brain can. It's true. It's true. They have so much power now. You're actually obsolete. The computers don't need you anymore.

Elon Musk has finally brought salvation to the unclean and the sinners, we are freed from these mortal husks, and all it takes is one little brain chip. It's true. It's true. A brain chip that will instantly make your life into Among Us. Technology really is amazing, isn't it?

Using some incredibly sophisticated technology, a chip smaller than your fingernail will be planted within your pineal gland. It may cause some brief discomfort, pain, dread, anxiety, a loss of identity and will to connect with God, but you will get to be an Among Us character in real life.

All you'll need to do to activate a game of Among Us is suspect that someone around you is an imposter. Anyone else that also has the Among Us brain chip will instantly know that you suspect an imposter. As soon as this nonverbal, completely mental agreement is made that someone is an imposter, the game begins. If you're the imposter, you can use your brain chip to do things like send violent and threatening impulses into the minds of others or broadcast hundreds of terabytes of sissy femboy hypnosis instantaneously into the brain of another within a split second in an attempt to break their minds and cause them to spiral into insanity and despair. For all of the other players, you can then do anything necessary to figure out who is the imposter, and kill them.

It's the only way, you have to kill them. Kill them, spill their blood upon the earth, you must do it. The roots need blood, the trees need nourishment, feed the trees, feed the trees. Don't you hear them, how parched they are? They cry out to you, do it do it do it do it kill them they are SUS they are the imposter if you don't kill them they'll kill you first they're AMONG US right now they are here right now and they could get you they're probably watching you right now they could be watching your every move what if they know all your secrets they could know everything about you and you wouldn't even know they could see everything they see everything they see everything they see everything they see everything there's no way out they're everywhere they're everything everything is together we are a part of everything we are the imposter we are the imposter we are sus sus sus sus sus sus;;

The USDA has ruled that the brain chips are completely 100% safe and will be mandatory for everyone that will be living inside the glass domes on Mars, which will be the future of human civilization. Earth is already dying anyway, it's not like we can do anything about it. You'll be much happier on Mars anyway, the brain chips will be able to simply make you happy using the chemicals in your brain. That's all your brain is, just a ziploc bag of wet paper towels and food coloring. It's empty, it's all empty, don't you see? It's all empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty, empty EMERGENCY MEETING red is sus I saw him do it you have to believe me he did it no it wasn't me I swear guys please no no no don't do this I saw him vent HE VENTED I saw him do it God sees everything God is everything God knows everything God knows the imposter ask God ask God ask God the imposter is melting your DNA he's evolving us into slaves I know his name I know he's the imposter he's RED red is SUS sus sus

Common known side effects of Among Us brain chips include spontaneous and instantaneous inflation of genitals to unnaturally engorged sizes and bleeding from the ears, nose, mouth, and eyes; some report becoming lost in a series of ever-shifting mazes of geometric patterns that simultaneously mean everything and nothing, but looking upon them is forbidden. The insatiable need to use your engorged gentials to bludgeon people to death and eat their flesh while it's still warm should pass within the first 48 hours.

Once the game of Among Us is initiated, it never ends.

There is no end.