Halo Infinite Update Will Make New Cortana's Feet Stink Good

Halo fans have something big and stinky to look forward to coming up. While hype around Infinite has stagnated quite a bit, considering it was most definitely rushed to release in time for the holidays, 343 has something major ready to drop any day now. Cortana's feet are about to stink real, real good.

This will be a monumental, game-changing improvement to the game, as many fans were rather disappointed with the new Cortana who does not have stinky feet. She also always wears shoes of some kind, so her stinky little piggies are never out in the open for us to look at. A drastic downgrade from old Cortana, who always had some really musky, wiggly little piggies.

The team over at 343 have been working with some state of the art technology to make Cortana's feet even more immersive and lifelike than ever before.

"Was the game rushed to get those holiday sales, yes. But we wanted to make sure we perfected Cortana's perfect, stinky little piggies before we released them to the public. We would have rather delayed their release than drop them while they weren't finished. These beautiful, blue little piggies are going to be so sweaty and musky, no other foot in your whole life will be able to compare." 343's lead developer on the Cortana feet patch told us in an exclusive interview.

The feet are said to be rendered so realistically and perfectly, one can experience "phantom touches" and "phantom smells" if experienced in an adequate state of sensory isolation, or in VR. 343 is also stated to be working with experimental "4D Smell-O-Vision” technology.

The new Cortana feet update is said to be dropping any day now, so Halo fans stay vigilant. I'm sure whoever the first one is to record themselves giving those little piggies a good sniff will get plenty of Reddit updoots. The lifeblood of any true Halo fan.