McDonald's Plans "Sexy Clown Girl" Ronald Following Success Of Wendy's Viral Marketing Stunt

Corporations have wised up to what the kids these days are calling "viral marketing". All these "memes" that keep getting shared around, reposted all around all the Facebooks and Instagrams. Maybe even sent out to everyone in a "tweet" on Twitter. And they aren't going to be left in the dust by all these up and coming, grassroots businesses. No, like the mighty Saturn, they will devour the new generation without remorse, so that they may finally achieve true immortality.

And by far, one of the greatest viral marketing gimmicks of all time has to be the Wendy's Twitter account. What better way to appeal to the younger generations, than by posing as one of them and tweeting silly things? Just being a cool, chill, perfectly normal young person just like the rest of us. Hip, cool, and funny. That's what the kids like these days. And the Wendy's account's "online persona" inspired a massive surge of fan art of the Wendy's mascot. Who I assume is the aforementioned "Wendy". I'm not really up to date on the lore, except that they made her fat all of a sudden. Which I get, totally. Never trust a skinny chef. I'm sure it's also a liability thing. Can't try and pass off a thin body as a Wendy's body. Anyway, so they drew a bunch of porn of the Wendy's girl. I'm sure you've seen it, if not you can google "Wendy's Girl Rule 34", it'll pop up.

McDonald's, one of the largest fast-food giants, was not simply going to be outdone by Wendy's. No, they have decided to completely revamp their existing Ronald mascot to be a sexy Ronaldette.

"We are confident that this will bring new and younger, more hip customers into our restaurants, and encourage them to spend more money. We are excited to see the "fan art" that members of Twitter will post. The art of the Wendy's girl, while very nice and good, will be nothing compared to our vision for the new Ronald." McDonald's CEO Tim McDonalds told us in an exclusive interview. With McDonald's embracing this form of marketing, it's only a matter of time before the floodgates are open. It's always been known that sex sells, but certain "family establishments" have always avoided the use of it to maintain their clean image. But now, with Wendy's maintaining their image while allowing the "fans" to create completely unaffiliated "fan art" advertisements for them, just about any corporation in the world can lean into anonymous perverts on the internet to create porn of their cartoon character mascots. It's diabolical, and it's terrifyingly efficient. How many of you went to Wendy's after that meme started? How about that Starbucks breast milk meme? I bet you went there. Even if it was "ironically", for the "meme". You still went there, and you probably spent money or posted free advertising on social media. You sicken me.

So go ahead. Jerk off to your clown porn. Your "clussy" pics. You've fallen victim to the agenda of the elite once more. The billionaires, and their "clussy" have got you by the balls, and you're helpless to it, aren't you? Some political extremist you are. Whatever happened to the boog or the guillotines or whatever it is you people keep talking about? Y'all ain't gonna do shit. You're just gonna keep eating your McNuggies and jacking it to clown girls.

I bet you didn't even know that clowns are sacred in many ancient cultures. The dimensions are merging, just as the prophecy foretold.