Microsoft Wants "Less Religion" In Doom, Proposes "Atheism And Science" Instead Of Demons

Microsoft has purchased a number of studios and acquired quite a few IP, but being the massive corporation they are, it was inevitable that we would begin to notice their corporate meddling in all of our favorite games. It happened with Halo, it happened with Minecraft, it was only a matter of time before that creeping corruption reached everything else they bought.

The latest game to be defiled by corporate greed, Bethesda's Doom games. Microsoft, being a massive corporation that creates games for "diverse players", has deemed the Christian themes in the Doom series to be too much. Not wanting to shove religion down the throats of the trillions of Xbox players out there, Microsoft has pushed the developers of the next Doom game to reconsider how the game works, the lore of the Doom world, and who will be playing it.

"We have players all around the world. We can't keep forcing beliefs on them. We're really just pushing away potential gamers, and customers, with these backwards and outdated ideas. No more God, no more demons, no more Hell, no more Christianity." Microsoft's PR rep told us in an exclusive interview.

"Isn't it much more exciting to use real weapons like facts and science to fight real demons like ignorance, and disease? Aren't you tired of playing with fairy-tales like "God" or "demons"? The whole Christianity thing is played out a little, don't you think? This is a video game, not a stone tablet." Bill Nye stated, after confirming that he would be taking over the lead role of "Doomslayer" in any new releases of the Doom series. "The games will be otherwise unchanged. You won't even notice a difference. The only people that would oppose such a change like this are simply anti-intellectual."

When asked how these games would actually play, because I was kind of confused as to how you could just replace a gun with a book and the game not be entirely changed, Bill Nye simply scoffed at me and called me a big word that I didn't understand. I think he was speaking Spanish or something.

Microsoft will unveil the latest Doom game with all of these new changes at a later date.