New Bill Makes Unskippable Google Ads Mandatory Before Every Mandatory Fact Check

A controversial new bill was just passed by the Senate, making the unskippable Google ads before a mandatory fact check on any particular article or meme completely mandatory.

The mandatory fact checks, which have become essential to every day life in this dangerous world we live in, have put a strain on the owner of the internet and everything within it, Google. This burden they must carry, like Atlas shouldering the weight of the world itself, was beginning to negatively impact their bottom line, and with that, the economy itself.

The new fact check ads, which previously could be disabled with very unAmerican ad-blocking software most likely made by antifa communist terrorists or possibly Al-Qaeda, will now automatically dispatch police to your house if you attempt to circumvent them. Repeat offenders will be looking at fines, and even jail time.

Many were outraged.

"I can't believe this, it's utterly ridiculous! It should've been two unskippable ads. The troops aren't out there fighting for this. What if the economy collapses?! Won't someone think of the children?!" One distraught mother posted on Twitter, while shoveling flesh from the burned carcass of their family dog into the mouths of her two young children.

"I'll tell ya what, these ungrateful millennials just don't have patience like we did back in the day. Why, I'd just sit there and wait, all the time. I would sit and watch my life slip away from me, my body slowly rotting, the planet slowly dying. These punks get the chance to sit and watch an ad to benefit our God blessed nation, and they get triggered over it like a couple of little sissy boys!" A man wearing sunglasses in a truck proclaimed to the world through his smart device.

Mankind can rest easy now at least in these frighteningly dark ages, knowing not only the sanctity of our news has been verified by professional American freedom fighters, but that the proceeds will also be going to hard-working American companies like Google and YouTube.