Paramount Greenlights "Sonic Spinball" Movie, Coming Spring 2024
The gravy train just doesn't stop for Sega it seems, at least when it comes to the Sonic the Hedgehog movies. With the second movie releasing to rave reviews and better sales than the first, Sega and Paramount have been eager to keep the ball rolling on this cash cow.
In their attempts to build their very own "Marvel Cinematic Universe", Sega will be attempting to bring to life every chapter of Sonic's career. And up next, the incredibly popular game, Sonic Spinball.
Now look, look, I know what you're thinking. How the fuck are they supposed to make a movie out of Sonic Spinball? But don't worry. They've got Jim Carrey still. He's still on a contract for the next couple movies. As long as they got him I don't think we have anything to worry about. They'll figure something out.
"I mean, the script is a little confusing. About ten minutes in, so far, all of the dialogue kind of just cuts out and it's just these bing bong sounds of Sonic bouncing off of those little pinball bumper things. And this goes on for about, I don't know, twenty to thirty minutes? It kind of just looks like someone is playing pinball, but with all of these dramatic, cinematic shots and angles. Which, I don't know. Kids are stupid, they'll watch anything. I guess it doesn't really matter. I just have to pop in and say some goofy shit now and then I guess." Jim Carrey said in a press release during the movie's official announcement. "I think they might actually have me voice the bumpers too, and do the little bing bing bong bong sounds. The parents would get a kick out of that.
This movie is expected to bridge the gap between Sonic 2, and the upcoming Sonic 3, which will take place ten years in the future after the Tails spin-off movie and upcoming Knuckles Netflix show. It'll all come together and build up to some major climactic shit. Like, Thanos level shit. Yeah, we're gonna get our own Infinity War. Except with Rouge's fat, jiggly titties. It'll be fucking great.
The movie is currently slated to hit some time in 2024, but who knows when we'll get out first trailer. The hype is real. This is going to be the biggest thing in movies since Tobey Maguire was Peter Parker.