Talentless Alt-Right Leader PewDiePie Calls It Quits Following Charlottesville Attack

The war on Nazis has taken a big step today. One of the alt-right’s lead generals has fallen.

After the tragic killing that happened in Charlottesville, a lot of people have been forced to reconsider their alignment in the upcoming Civil War. Does the alt-right really want to be associated with a bunch of pasty white kids with tiki torches? Probably not.

But one person of interest, a Mr. Felix PewDiePie Trump, has officially stepped down from his post as commander of the alt-right “Bro Army”, which is short for “Brotha Killing Army”.

PewDiePie clarified his feelings in a YouTube video, stating that he’s not censoring himself, but merely distancing himself from the alt-right, because he’s embarrassed by, and I quote, “how fucking cringey they all are, worshipping a cartoon frog, calling for the oppression of LGBT people while at the same time lusting over their cutie trap anime gf that, according to them, is NOT gay”.

Pewds has settled for casual racism, like passively checking to make sure his wallet is still there whenever a black man walks past. Extremism is too much for the YouTube star to handle.

The incident in Charlottesville has been an eye-opener for many, on both the left and right. How violent and bloodthirsty the right is, and how bent on erasing history the left is. I mean just look at this beautiful statue they tore down.

The beautiful, historic relic depicts a proud, Confederate general. In all his racist glory.

It’s a tragedy to see such work destroyed like this, especially something that most likely belongs in a museum. You can’t just whitewash history to your standards, guys. These are important artifacts.

You know, the second we remove the word “racist” from the dictionary, there won’t be a word for racist anymore. Would that really solve anything? I don’t think so.

Either way, I’m sure the left is celebrating now at the fall of the once great PewDiePie. Black men can now roam free without being “bro fisted”, which is slang for “brotha fisting”, a form of anti-black sucker punching.

We did it guys. We won. Racism is over.