Streamer Pokimane Leaving Twitch To Be GameStop Assistant Manager

Popular streamer and "e-girl" Pokimane shocked her followers and simps when she walked away from the internet to take a break for her mental health. It left them absolutely baffled. How could you possibly need a break from playing video games and being worshiped on the internet? It's literally the dream for so many people. But for Pokimane, this break from the internet may be a bit more permanent.

"I just felt like I needed a change. I wasn't creatively fulfilled, and I needed a break from all of the monotony of playing video games and being paid for simply being a woman. It just felt so suffocating. I applied to work at GameStop, and I'm really enjoying it actually. I get to put games away on the shelves, and ask people if they have a reward card. Sometimes they even pre-order a game from me. It's so much fun." Pokimane explained in a video posted to YouTube. "It just feels so much more fulfilling to me right now to be there and do things."

Fans were skeptical, some were even enraged or violent over the thought of Pokimane leaving the internet. But in the video, she truly seemed happy.

"I feel much more creatively fulfilled, arranging the games alphabetically on the shelves. I have to remember to put the Xbox games in the Xbox section and the PlayStation games in the PlayStation section. The Nintendo section is easy to remember because their boxes are shaped funny. Sometimes customers will yell at me, and ask if there are any men that work here because they assume just because I'm a woman I must not know about games. But this is actually refreshing, because these men actually don't want to talk to me and aren't lingering around me in an unwelcome manner. Some of them will be kind of creepy but in real life they're much too awkward and dysfunctional to be particularly threatening." Pokimane outlined the many benefits of her new job, reminding people that as an employee she gets a 15% off employee discount on different things in the store. This is much better than anything Twitch ever gave her.

Pokimane's rabid, insatiable followers began to riot in the streets shortly after she posted this video, and a state of emergency was declared for certain states and cities where the greatest density of simps were. Federal buildings have been surrounded, and it's been hinted that Biden is on his way to GameStop to convince Pokimane to return to Twitch, for the sake of the nation's stability.

I really don't understand any of this, honestly. I don't get it. I don't get why people watch Pokimane, or work at GameStop, but I'm glad that out of all the millions of people in this world, I'm one of the people that doesn't.