Yoshi's Original Final Smash In Ultimate Had Him Violently Fucking His Enemies, Here's Why Nintendo Censored That

Nintendo has always been infamous for their gratuitous censorship. They have a family-friendly image to uphold, as the house of Mario. Their games are mostly rated E for everyone, they can’t do anything to offend the conservative soccer moms that purchase their products for the whole family.

In recent years, they’ve gotten a bit bolder, here and there. Bayonetta is in Smash, that alone should be enough to show that they’re unafraid to step out of their comfort zone. But time and time again, Nintendo will make decisions that baffle their long-time fans. For example, the rampant censorship in the Switch’s latest blockbuster title, Super Smash Bros Ultimate.

Many female characters saw changes to their outfits, from Fire Emblem’s Camilla losing her tit window, to Xenoblade’s Mythra. Also losing her tit window. All the windows have been closed. And the thighs have been covered as well. But the character most touched by Nintendo’s overprotective censorship is actually a playable one. Yoshi.

As part of their attempt to make Super Smash Bros Ultimate quicker and more to the point, each character’s finishing move has been tweaked and edited to make them snappier and less of an interruption to the match. Any transformation style moves were removed, in favor of much faster and flashier attacks. Yoshi no longer transforms into his dragon form. Now, he simply stampedes across the stage and tramples all in his path.

It’s an odd move choice. As anyone familiar with Yoshi canon knows, Yoshis don’t travel in massive herds like that. At most, there’s maybe like twelve of them? Somewhere around that. They move in packs, like the terrifying predators they are. Not to mention the average Yoshi IQ is equal to, if not greater than the average human’s. They aren’t brainless animals, nothing would make them stampede like that. Why the odd, seemingly non-canon move choice then? It’s not the first time Sakurai has taken creative liberties with a character. But this time, it’s because of Nintendo’s intervention.

Yoshi’s original Final Smash? The cinematic portion isn’t entirely off. The massive pack of Yoshis charging was part of the original animation. But the rest of it was cut. All core Yoshi fans know that the two most defining traits of the whimsical green dinosaur are his appetite, and his voracious sex drive. Yoshis are capable of fucking for up to an entire week straight, which is why they have such copious calorie intakes. There’s no time to eat or drink if you’re in the middle of a two week long fuckfest. Yes, Yoshi’s original Final Smash was for him and his pack of Broshis to descend on their helpless enemy, ensnare the hapless fighter with their tongues, and engage in a violent gangbang dealing critical damage.

It only makes sense. Yoshi has never been some savage, lower creature. They’re intelligent pack animals. Just a couple of bros taking their latest victim to pound town, as Yoshis are known to do. That was literally the plot of Yoshi’s Story. Why would Yoshi have a fully rendered erect penis stored in the game’s files? Data miners have been able to pull snippets of code and animation from the game, but the full animation has yet to be discovered. Models for various characters in various positions are also being dug up, but not enough to reconstruct a possible scene.

Each character is also equipped with an “orgasm face”, though it appears the faces have been recycled to be used whenever they grab the “Spicy Curry” item. Except, the faces are labeled as part of Yoshi’s Final Smash in the game’s codes. Further proof that Nintendo has once again stepped all over a developer’s integrity for the sake of maintaining their image? I rest my case.

Data miners will continue to dig through the game’s code, unearthing more leftover tidbits of the Yoshi Gangbang that was stolen from us. One day, we may even have full animations for each character. Realistically, it’s on us. But one can only hope that perhaps if enough people complain about it on Twitter, maybe, just maybe, Nintendo may listen to our demands and patch the original back into the game.

Please, Nintendo. We all want to see Yoshi’s fat, dripping, dinosaur cock spread some plumber cheeks. It’s what every gamer has wanted to see since our childhoods. Give us gamers what we want.