Twitter Employees Forced To "Say The N Word" To Keep Their Jobs

Elon Musk has been making some drastic changes to Twitter, and has completely gutted the company. Tons of people have lost their jobs, right-wing profiles have been reinstated, and Twitter has begun selling blue checkmarks in an attempt to generate revenue. Some have speculated that the site itself will end up being shut down, due to Elon's reckless and chaotic methods to "fix" the site.

But out of all these strange new policies, the weirdest one is part of Elon's push to make Twitter more "based". Every employee is now required, at least once a day if not more often, to "say the N word". Pretty much whenever Elon prompts them, with many now former employees coming forward and saying they were fired on the spot for not saying it. Elon has expressed a desire to distance himself from all things "cringe" or "bluepilled", and be only "based and redpilled" in the eyes of society.

"I am not cringe. I'm not! I will let anyone say the N word if they want. I enforce it. If you don't say it, you're cringe, and Twitter does not need cringe on it. Twitter will be the most based social media site ever. Because I'm based. That's street for cool. I speak street." Elon clarified in an official, verified tweet with his blue checkmark proudly on display.

"If I catch anyone being cringe on my website, or at my company, they will be banned, or fired on the spot respectively. Cringe means bad, or uncool. I am not cringe, I am based." Elon insisted in a company-wide statement. Employees were prompted, one by one, to "say the N word", both in one on one interviews with Elon as well as at random, whenever called upon, in front of peers and even family members. Elon has stated that he considers it a "test of loyalty" as well as a method of weeding out "cringe" employees that may be detracting from the Twitter experience. Employees that have shown enthusiasm have been given physical "blue checkmark" stickers to put on their nametag to show that they have been "verified" internally by the company as "based". Any employees that are perceived as only following orders or not passionately on board with Elon's vision remain "unverified", and have reported a constant fear that they may be next on the chopping block, but Elon has allowed them to stay as long as they say the N word regularly, whenever called upon. At least daily, sometimes hourly depending on the day and Elon's mood.

Elon hopes to make Twitter a completely "based" company and app by 2024, and will be regularly cleansing the platform and corporate offices of anyone he deems cringe. Supposedly, he's already begun rolling out new prompts, such as asking employees about women's rights. Wrong answers will see employees immediately terminated, and correct answers are met with Elon's jovial laughter and a proclamation of "based!"

Twitter's user activity has, allegedly, been through the roof due to these new changes. We can only hope that Elon's rule will be merciful, or at least swift and painless.