FACT CHECK: Experts Falsely Claim "Running" Is "Good For You"

False statements and "studies" have been circulating the internet, as always, this time with the claim that we "should be running regularly" for our health. And apparently, not running puts you at risk for "cardiovascular disease". These claims, of course, are completely and utterly false. Just another agenda being pushed onto the American people.

Running is for pussies and cowards. Real patriots don't run. We reload. We are unstoppable. We would rather die standing than live running. We Americans stand for honor, and glory, and freedom. We will not run from anything. This "running" agenda is being pushed onto us by the wealthy elites that control this country, trying to instill fear in us, trying to put cowardice in our lifestyle, our DNA, so that they can control us better. Warriors don't run. Bears don't run, lions don't run. Eagles don't run. You know who runs? Deer. Sheep. Stupid, dumb animals that get eaten by the cooler, stronger animals. I've never seen deer load a rifle. Have you? That's why lions are the king of the jungle and zebras are not. Because they run, like little pussies, and get eaten like the little bitch-made beta cucks they are.

Newsflash, America. Running makes you weaker. Running makes you weak, and it makes you gay. That's why there's so many homosexuals around these days. Because everyone is running. If you want to be healthy, stand strong. Lift big. Hold your head up high. And never run from anything.

"What we actually see, when we dig into the research, is that running is actually very bad for you. It has no real benefits at all." One red-blooded American researcher stated. "Your muscles get weaker. There's a clear trend towards being homosexual. And the only freedom you have is thanks to the hard-working patriots fighting to keep your sorry ass in art school or whatever stupid useless thing you're doing with your life." Obviously, certain scientists will disagree with these findings. They'd rather you ran and ate bugs and lived with a group of other runners in some filthy nest in like a bush or a cave or something. I don't even know what "cardiovascular disease" is supposed to mean. Just another made-up buzzword to scare people. Like "fracking" or "ozone layer". What we really should be worried about is how many American citizens are being psyoped into being spineless homosexual cowards that can't stand up for anything. Sometimes you just gotta plant your feet flat, and take whatever life throws at you. Running just is not the answer.

Before you consider taking up running as some kind of hobby, please think about the future. The future of our country. Think of the children. And just say no. Say no to running. Say no to the perversion and undermining of the foundation of this country. Trust in God, and stand strong.

If you really want to get healthy, just start lifting. It's not that hard.