Report: Gooigi Is Made Out Of Cum

Luigi’s Mansion 3 has been announced, and Nintendo has been slowly pulling away the curtain on the secrets the game will hold. New characters, new game mechanics, they’re really going all out with this installment.

But one of the most popular new additions has been the new Gooigi feature. Gooigi, Luigi’s gooey doppelganger, will be playable for co-op and can be used to solve various puzzles.

The internet quickly became enamored with the gooey green boy, so the developers agreed to sit down and tell us more about Gooigi and the roles he’ll play in Luigi’s Mansion 3.

“Gooigi is a semi-solid mass, not like slime, but more like a gummy worm. One could easily take a bite out of him. Gooigi was created by Professor E. Gadd after accidentally cumming in a ghost. The cum, mixed with ghostly ectoplasm, birthed Gooigi as an infant child, and he suckled at E. Gadd’s teat until he grew to his adult size.” Luigi’s Mansion director Yoshihito Ikebata told us in an exclusive interview.

“While he is identical to Luigi, right down to each individual strand of gummy hair on his moustache, his lack of muscle, bone, joints, and flesh means that he can do things Luigi can’t. For example, even though he and Luigi have identically long, girthy schlongs, Gooigi can bend and control his freely. He can grasp objects with his manhood, like switches and levers, or lift heavy objects that Luigi can’t. These elements will be present in the game’s many puzzles.”

When asked what flavor Gooigi would taste like, since they mentioned him being edible, they said “cum”.

Luigi’s Mansion 3 is currently dated for 2019.