politics Trump Has "Scary, Bleeding, Hyper-Realistic Eyes", Warns Democrats "Please get out and vote, please. You don't understand. Something needs to be done. Please. I'm so fucking scared, man. I'm so fucking
world news Re-Election Of Turkish President Erdoğan Will Have No Bearing On Next Season Of "90 Day Fiancé" With Erdoğan being re-elected for yet another new term, many were concerned that the state of Turkey's democracy and world government as a whole might somehow impact our
politics Mad Catz To Release Third-Party Candidate For Upcoming Election Mad Catz, known for their third-party gaming peripherals, has announced that they will be creating their first ever third-party political candidate for the upcoming election in hopes of giving voters
america Trump Sentenced To Execution By Crucifixion It's a sad day for America, folks. Trump arraigned, patriots losing ground in states across the country. Nation is collapsing. But the worst news was yet to come.
fact check FACT CHECK: Experts Falsely Claim "Running" Is "Good For You" False statements and "studies" have been circulating the internet, as always, this time with the claim that we "should be running regularly" for our health. And
twitter Elon Musk Vows To End "Woke Mind Virus", Bans "Rick And Morty" From Twitter The "woke news media" has gotten out of control with their influence over the young and impressionable minds of America's youth. Trying to force crazy ideas
cringe Hooters To Go Vegan, Only Hire Vaccinated Drag Queens And Trans People, Use Pronouns To Better Appeal To Millennials Struggling restaurant chain Hooters is going to be revamping their business in a major way. It's natural for preferences to shift from generation to generation, and for some
furries CIA Declassifies Gun That Instantly Uploads 2.5 Petabytes Of Gay Furry Art Into Target's Brain Many have speculated about what kinds of secrets the government has been hiding from us. Alien life, secrets of the universe, man-made horrors beyond our comprehension. Some things have been
breaking news BREAKING: A Second Rainbow Cruise Has Just Hit Whomp's Fortress Oh God oh fuck I can't believe it this can't be happening this can't be happening the tower is coming down oh my God
kanye west Kanye "Ye" West Claims To Be Rightful Emperor Of Germany Influential rapper "Ye", formerly known as Kanye West, has been on something of a rampage lately. He is, as far as we're aware, unmedicated and completely
we live in a society Disney To Pull WALL-E From All Services Over Fatphobic Imagery Beloved Pixar film "WALL-E" is apparently being scrubbed from existence after Disney decided to double down on their family-friendly, squeaky clean image. The film was deemed to be
breaking news Chris Chan's And Alex Jones' Legal Teams Caught Exchanging Notes About "Dimensional Merge" Between Court Dates Conspiracy theories and fake news have gotten out of control to a terrifying degree in recent years. But thankfully, authorities have begun to crack down and squash this dangerous misinformation
donald trump Documents Obtained From Trump's Home Reveal Nancy Pelosi's Fat Milkers, Secret Love Affair The FBI raided Trump's Florida home, and are said to have uncovered a slew of classified documents and papers. The former president is in some seriously hot water,
grand theft auto "Woke" GTA 6 Includes Women, No Guns Or Killing, Forces You To Be Gay, Vegan, And Use Pronouns Well, the woke libtard media has done it. They've ruined the best and most redpilled game ever made, Grand Theft Auto. I am so mad, I am literally
we live in a society US Senators Attribute Rise In School Shootings To Violent TV Show Tom And Jerry With school shootings on the rise, Americans have been stricken with absolute terror. The places they once thought safe, like schools and shopping malls, are now targets for obscene violence.
wholesome BRAVE: Lockheed Martin Announce "Nuclear Pride Missiles" That Release Rainbow Mushroom Cloud Pride Month is already off to an impressive start. Corporations and celebrities, the most important people and groups in the world, are standing up and supporting the rights of LGBT
overwatch Overwatch 2 To Get New White Supremacist Hero To Further Diversify Cast (He's Also Latino) Overwatch 2 is going to be a thing. Many fans were shocked, considering Overwatch the original is barely a thing anymore, not counting the massive online community that has been
world war iii Duolingo Introduces "Duolingo For War" With international tensions rising and the threat of war looming overhead, many have felt a little uneasy. Your comfortable way of life may be threatened by forces out of your
i need to piss USDA Adds Microplastics To Top Of Food Pyramid The USDA has just released their updated model of the food pyramid, and there's a shocking new addition that has many experts scratching their heads. At the very
music Popular Rock Band 100 Gecs Down To 87.6 Gecs Due To Inflation The world economy has been hurting as of late, first with the pandemic lock-downs and now with the Russia-Ukraine conflict. And many Americans have started to feel it at the
trolling BREAKING: People Still Not Listening To "Schizo Man" That Prophecized The Great War Coming War, famine, and plague have engulfed the world. The future is uncertain, resources are becoming scarce, doom seems to be looming overhead. And still, no one is listening to the
piss world Russia-Ukraine Conflict Actually Just Elaborate Call Of Duty Viral Marketing Stunt Just as it seemed we were on the brink of world war and all of our lives were about to be drastically changed for the worse for the profit of
orwellian nightmare Ukraine Escalates Use Of Wojak Memes After Russia Posts "Let People Enjoy Things" Meme We live in a dystopian world. A nightmare worse than anyone could have conceived. 1984, Brave New World, Soylent Green, They Live, all of them pale in comparison to what
world war iii Ukraine Deploys Freddy Fazbear On Invading Russian Forces Tensions between Ukraine and Russia have escalated into a full-scale invasion, and Ukraine is not backing down without a fight. The world may very well be on the brink of
world war iii President Biden Escalates Tensions With Russia After Being Unmatched On Tinder Thousands of troops were moved to Ukraine's border over the past week, and even more are expected to be sent shortly, after a disappointing day of swiping through
