The COVID-19 pandemic has changed the way our world works, in a lot of ways. There’s been a big shift towards online shopping, delivery drivers have started doing contactless delivery, and many brick and mortar stores have begun utilizing contactless, curbside pickup for customers to get their products as soon as possible.

With many businesses struggling through this rough patch in the economy, GameStop has joined the frontline in offering social distancing-friendly services. Their answer? Coming to your house and robbing you at gunpoint.

“As an essential business, we feel that our customers need our invaluable service in this time of need. Our customers need us to be there for them, now that they need us most” current GameStop CEO George Sherman insisted in an exclusive interview outside my house, wearing a balaclava and toting a crowbar.

He, along with a gang of several local GameStop game advisors, ransacked my house. Anything not bolted to the floor was taken. The district manager that was holding a gun to my head asked me if I wanted my three dollars and seventy cents in trade credit or two dollars in cash. I opted for the cash, but they told me I’d chosen “the wrong answer” and a gift card with the value on it was left for me on my counter after they took the crowbar to my knees several times.

This new service will be rolled out nationwide as part of their new social distancing initiative. Enrollment in this program is mandatory and cannot be opted out of for all PowerUp Rewards members.

When asked about the legality of such a program, GameStop Board of Directors member Reggie Fils-Aimé simply replied with “No face, no case”. He took my wallet, phone, and keys.