furries CIA Declassifies Gun That Instantly Uploads 2.5 Petabytes Of Gay Furry Art Into Target's Brain Many have speculated about what kinds of secrets the government has been hiding from us. Alien life, secrets of the universe, man-made horrors beyond our comprehension. Some things have been
breaking news BREAKING: A Second Rainbow Cruise Has Just Hit Whomp's Fortress Oh God oh fuck I can't believe it this can't be happening this can't be happening the tower is coming down oh my God
wholesome BRAVE: Lockheed Martin Announce "Nuclear Pride Missiles" That Release Rainbow Mushroom Cloud Pride Month is already off to an impressive start. Corporations and celebrities, the most important people and groups in the world, are standing up and supporting the rights of LGBT
world war iii Duolingo Introduces "Duolingo For War" With international tensions rising and the threat of war looming overhead, many have felt a little uneasy. Your comfortable way of life may be threatened by forces out of your
piss world Russia-Ukraine Conflict Actually Just Elaborate Call Of Duty Viral Marketing Stunt Just as it seemed we were on the brink of world war and all of our lives were about to be drastically changed for the worse for the profit of
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future
war crimes Trump Pardons LMFAO For Party Rocking Trump cemented his legacy with his final acts as president, rescinding his initial executive order to "Drain the Swamp" and issuing a number of pardons to questionable people.
wholesome Trump Supporters Start GoFundMe For Israel Foreign Aid Budget In Protest Of Biden Win Joe Biden has been the projected winner of the presidential election, and the media has completely snubbed Trump and his supporters despite how loudly they've voiced their discontent.
world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
piss world Can We Pretend Like Airplanes In The Night Sky Are Like Shooting Stars? Are you prepared, Son of Man? The great crossroads of fate is upon us. He has once again sent an Ordeal, a baptism of fire, to test the righteous and
baby nut BREAKING: Senate Votes For Baby Nut To Die By Firing Squad Execution A verdict was finally reached in the trial of convicted war criminal Baby Nut. The Senate has voted overwhelmingly in favor of an old-fashioned firing squad execution, which is currently
breaking news BREAKING: Trump Deploys Annoying Orange To Iran, Violating Geneva Convention And Committing Several War Crimes World War III is now raging across the globe. There is no hope left for negotiations or peace talks. Iran is now amassing nuclear weapons, and America has made a