Former vice president Joe Biden has officially announced today that he will be the first black president of the United States. With tensions escalating as the election draws near, Biden and Trump have fired shots, and Biden is already declaring himself winner.

"Listen here, jack. The time has come for America to have its very first black president. Someone that will be there for the colored folk, the marginalized and oppressed. I swear, as America's first black president, to end segregation, and free them from the shackles of slavery." Biden said in an interview Friday.

Biden has been ramping up his campaign, putting all of his effort into trying to appeal to black voters. Securing the vote of minorities and young people will be crucial to defeating Trump.

Biden has long cared about the plight of the colored folk. Ever since the first slave ship landed, he's opposed bringing them over to America, claiming that they needed to run free in Africa, where they belong.

"I swear, once I'm president, every one of my niggas will get forty acres and a mule as reparations. The negros have been exploited and persecuted for far too long. Y'all need to get out there and vote so we can defeat Trump. Remember, your vote only counts as three fifths of a normal person's vote, so make sure you get all of your niggas, home boys, baby mommas, gangsters, sisters, and brothers out to the polls. Every vote counts, it really does. Together, we can defeat Trump."

Biden wrapped up his interview by reminding all of his viewers that if they did not vote for him, he would revoke their N word pass. Biden patented the N word decades ago, and can legally sue anyone using it he deems "not black".