With Erdoğan being re-elected for yet another new term, many were concerned that the state of Turkey's democracy and world government as a whole might somehow impact our lives. What does Turkey mean for me? This guy, I don't even know who he is. Will I still be able to get my two McDoubles and an 8 piece McNugget for lunch? Will I have to pay more money for gas? Will I be able to watch my shows without interruption?
But fear not, American citizen. World politics doesn't effect your life. We are America, we are the strongest nation in the world. Our army is like Superman and Goku at the same time. Because America is a cultural melting pot, and we can be both Superman and Goku. Our beloved cultural phenomenon, TV show "90 Day Fiancé", will not be impeded by this unimportant piece of international trivia. So what, some guy gets to stay in office in his lame, unimportant country. We Americans and our superior agriculture industry already have our own turkey farms. They can't withhold any meaningful resources from us. If we really need to, we can send our troops out there and straighten things out.
"Yeah, this shouldn't be a problem. Your McDonalds will still be hot and fresh whenever you pop through the drive-thru, your favorite shows will always be available to binge, and life will carry on as usual. The American way of life will not be imposed upon by these foreign, third-world savages. We will bring real, true democracy to all of them. The military power of the United States is unmatched." Executive producers for 90 Day Fiancé assured us.
90 Day Fiancé will continue airing as usual. All of your favorite Disney Marvel movies will also release on schedule, because our nation is an unstoppable machine. You don't need to worry about world politics. Don't worry about Turkey. Don't worry about Afghanistan, or Iran. Don't worry about Korea, or Russia, or China. Everything is under control, and these third-world nations can't hold a candle to our proud nation. Enjoy your Big Macs and your Whoppers. Watch your favorite Disney and Marvel movies and TV shows. Hop on Netflix or Hulu and binge some shows. Grab a bag of your favorite Frito-Lay snacks from Walmart, and an ice cold Coca-Cola. Or Pepsi, if you prefer. We live in paradise. We live in heaven. We dwell in the Kingdom of God. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. We are untouchable here. Don't worry about what goes on in the world. Grab a beer, relax, watch some TV. Watch TV, watch more TV. There's so many shows to binge. Keep watching TV. Watch more movies, eat more snacks. You're happy here. You're so happy. There's nothing going wrong in the world. Be content, be happy. Go to work, pay your taxes. Everything is fine. Don't forget to vote.
America could bomb the entire planet to a smouldering husk. No one fucks with America. No one fucks with America. No one fucks with America. We are invicible. We are the kings of this world. God picked us, we are God's chosen people. Enjoy the decadence and luxury of a hot and fresh Big Mac through the drive-thru and an ice cold Coca-Cola. You're being spoiled, pampered, like kings. Every man is a king in America. Grab a bag of Cheetos, made with all real cheese. You're living like a God here in America while those poors overseas fight with sticks and rocks over their yucky poor countries. They're unimportant.
You are the main character. You are literally in a movie. Everything revolves around you. And you're winning. How does that make you feel, winner?