breaking news BREAKING: A Second Rainbow Cruise Has Just Hit Whomp's Fortress Oh God oh fuck I can't believe it this can't be happening this can't be happening the tower is coming down oh my God there are bodies falling the bodies
cringe Researchers Create Self-Replicating "Xenobots", Living Robots That Suck At Smash Bros Researchers stunned the world when they announced their next big achievement in science, unveiling what sounded to most like man-made horrors beyond their comprehension. Tiny, self-replicating nanobots that are highly
esports Competitive Smash Players Must Now Register Into A Database, Notify Neighbors Competitive Smash players now cannot legally be within 500 feet of schools, and must notify neighbors, thanks to a new law passed after the latest grooming scandal. The new law
china Trump Calls To Remove "Chinese Fighter" From Smash Amid Rising COVID Tensions President Trump had a lot to say this morning about the newest addition to the Super Smash Bros roster, ARMS representative Min Min. While there were many hoping for a
coronavirus Super Smash Bros Director Masahiro Sakurai, 49, Passes Away Due To Complications of COVID-19 It’s a sad day for the world of video games today. Beloved Super Smash Bros director Masahiro Sakurai has passed away, due to complications of COVID-19. Sakurai tested positive
baby yoda BREAKING: Fire Emblem Character Qualifies For Next Democratic Debate Over Bernie Sanders Everyone watching the Democratic debates on February 7th will definitely be feeling the burn, not because of Bernie Sanders, but because a different candidate has just qualified from the Fire
gay BRAVE: Ice Climbers Are Poly And The Blue One Watches The Pink One Fuck Other Men It’s Pride Month, so every company has been coming out of the woodwork to show their acceptance of gay culture. Microsoft set their Twitter icon to a rainbow Xbox