Many Mario fans were extremely skeptical of Chris Pratt being cast as Mario in the upcoming Super Mario Bros movie. The obvious choice for the voice of Mario was Mario's actual voice, from the video games. Like, I absolutely would have paid to see that, just an hour or so long movie of babada boopy from Charles Martinet. But instead we got Pratt.

At least, we were going to get Pratt, up until he absolutely flopped. He tried to grow his moustache, he tried to learn Italian, but in the end, he still just couldn't jump high enough. That's right, after failing to jump really high, they decided to just let him go. All of the critical moments of the movie, where Mario would need to jump in order to stomp a Goomba or reach a flagpole, Chris Pratt failed every time. He couldn't even hop down the last step while walking down a flight of stairs.

Mario, an iconic video game character known specifically for his jumping ability, absolutely can not be played by someone that can't even jump to save his life. The budget necessary to make that man jump was starting to burn a whole in Nintendo's pockets, and they just had to let him go.

Chris tries (and fails) to find his balance on a trampoline, absolutely bungling his role as Mario.

"We've tried everything. We bought him some Air Jordans, we had him practice with a jump rope, we even got him a trampoline to get a feel for bouncing really high. We hired professional trainers, everything. That man just cannot jump, especially not as high as we need him to. We cannot move forward with this movie if our lead actor can't even carry out the most fundamental task for his character. It would be like an Adam Sandler movie where he doesn't do the Adam Sandler thing where he raises his voice and yells in that Adam Sandler voice. You know what I mean, right? Like, that thing he does in every movie. It would be like if you hired the most timid, quiet person to play Adam Sandler in a movie about Adam Sandler's life. Does that make sense?" Miyamoto ranted in a public statement, announcing that the Super Mario movie would be pushed back until they could find a suitable replacement for the role of Mario. This time around, they'll be making all potential actors pass a simple jumping test to see just how high they can jump.

When asked why they didn't simply use some kind of wires or special effects or even just a stunt double, Miyamoto responded "We at Nintendo look at this new technology coming out, and we think that it does not help to create a better or more unique product. If every movie producer simply uses this technology, it will become a battle of who can use the most, biggest technology instead of simply creating a fun and enjoyable movie that is unique."

And you know, looking at all of the Marvel movies that have come out over the past couple years, or even the major AAA games, I'm starting to think maybe he's been onto something all along.