twitter Elon Musk Vows To End "Woke Mind Virus", Bans "Rick And Morty" From Twitter The "woke news media" has gotten out of control with their influence over the young and impressionable minds of America's youth. Trying to force crazy ideas into their heads, like
trolling BREAKING: People Still Not Listening To "Schizo Man" That Prophecized The Great War Coming War, famine, and plague have engulfed the world. The future is uncertain, resources are becoming scarce, doom seems to be looming overhead. And still, no one is listening to the
facebook US Senator Calls For Social Media Sites To End "Schizoposting" Senators had a rare chance to grill Facebook's global head of safety, a corporation infamous for conducting strange secret psychological experiments on its users and mass-collecting their information. Unfortunately, for
wholesome chungus 100 Elon Musk Invents Brain Chip To Play Among Us In Real Life It's a brave new world we live in, computers can now do so much. And they can now do even more than your brain can. It's true. It's true. They
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump
kanye west BREAKING: Trump And Biden Worked Together To Stop Kanye Presidency Biden and Trump have gone head to head for an incredibly tense election, with the entire country anxiously waiting for one of these people we absolutely did not want to
breaking news BREAKING: The Q In Q-Anon Stands For Quizno's Authorities have finally figured out the identity of the mysterious hacker 4Chan, leader of Anonymous. Their latest plot, dubbed "Q-Anon", was an absolute mystery to federal agents, as the hacker
hyper-realistic Ellen: "The Red Mist Is Coming" Ellen had a rather bizarre message for her fans late last night, posting an enigmatic video to all of her socials. The video begins with Ellen in her room, playing
clean your fucking controller GameStop Employee Accidentally Synthesizes Adrenochrome From Controller Scrapings A GameStop employee was in quite the shock yesterday after accidentally creating adrenochrome, the mythical drug supposedly used by the wealthy elite. "I dunno man, I was just doing my
