breaking news BREAKING: A Second Rainbow Cruise Has Just Hit Whomp's Fortress Oh God oh fuck I can't believe it this can't be happening this can't be happening the tower is coming down oh my God
wholesome BRAVE: Lockheed Martin Announce "Nuclear Pride Missiles" That Release Rainbow Mushroom Cloud Pride Month is already off to an impressive start. Corporations and celebrities, the most important people and groups in the world, are standing up and supporting the rights of LGBT
jihad Female Activision Blizzard Employees Must Now Wear Head Covering To Prevent Harassment Activision Blizzard, in the latest attempt to damage control their spiraling PR nightmare, has taken drastic measure to curb all sexual harassment in the workplace. Their HR department is under
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future
coronavirus Second Stimulus Bill Includes Millions In Gacha Microtransactions COVID has devastated the economy and left many families in need, and yet legislators in Washington still can't seem to come to agreement on how to fix the
world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
baby nut BREAKING: Senate Votes For Baby Nut To Die By Firing Squad Execution A verdict was finally reached in the trial of convicted war criminal Baby Nut. The Senate has voted overwhelmingly in favor of an old-fashioned firing squad execution, which is currently
breaking news BREAKING: Trump Deploys Annoying Orange To Iran, Violating Geneva Convention And Committing Several War Crimes World War III is now raging across the globe. There is no hope left for negotiations or peace talks. Iran is now amassing nuclear weapons, and America has made a
breaking news BREAKING: Iran Vows To Retaliate Against US By Adding Friends Back To Netflix Iran has vowed revenge against the United States after a targeted air strike that killed Qassem Soleimani, one of their top military figures. While many are in a panic over
