breaking news BREAKING: A Second Rainbow Cruise Has Just Hit Whomp's Fortress Oh God oh fuck I can't believe it this can't be happening this can't be happening the tower is coming down oh my God there are bodies falling the bodies
wholesome BRAVE: Lockheed Martin Announce "Nuclear Pride Missiles" That Release Rainbow Mushroom Cloud Pride Month is already off to an impressive start. Corporations and celebrities, the most important people and groups in the world, are standing up and supporting the rights of LGBT
jihad In Response To Sony And Microsoft Acquisitions, Nintendo Purchases Land, Guns, Bulk Ammo Sony and Microsoft have been on a buying spree lately, acquiring studios and IP left and right. Some of the biggest names in gaming, like Activision Blizzard and Bethesda, have
world war iii Duolingo Introduces "Duolingo For War" With international tensions rising and the threat of war looming overhead, many have felt a little uneasy. Your comfortable way of life may be threatened by forces out of your
trolling BREAKING: People Still Not Listening To "Schizo Man" That Prophecized The Great War Coming War, famine, and plague have engulfed the world. The future is uncertain, resources are becoming scarce, doom seems to be looming overhead. And still, no one is listening to the
facebook US Senator Calls For Social Media Sites To End "Schizoposting" Senators had a rare chance to grill Facebook's global head of safety, a corporation infamous for conducting strange secret psychological experiments on its users and mass-collecting their information. Unfortunately, for
jihad Female Activision Blizzard Employees Must Now Wear Head Covering To Prevent Harassment Activision Blizzard, in the latest attempt to damage control their spiraling PR nightmare, has taken drastic measure to curb all sexual harassment in the workplace. Their HR department is under
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future has arrived today in
piss world Joe Biden Declares Marvel Cinematic Universe To Be New National Religion Move over "Jesus", there is a new savior in town, several of them to be exact. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and more are now America's patron gods. The choice
coronavirus Second Stimulus Bill Includes Millions In Gacha Microtransactions COVID has devastated the economy and left many families in need, and yet legislators in Washington still can't seem to come to agreement on how to fix the situation. Democrats
wholesome Trump Supporters Start GoFundMe For Israel Foreign Aid Budget In Protest Of Biden Win Joe Biden has been the projected winner of the presidential election, and the media has completely snubbed Trump and his supporters despite how loudly they've voiced their discontent. Some have
piss world In The Orwellian Future, Juggalos And Furries Stand As Unlikely Allies Against The Surveillance State The world we live in is quickly becoming a scary place. The rampant radicalization taking place across the world, civil unrest born of selfish and corrupt governments that ignore the
the end times Kanye Forges Pact With Merkabah, Throne Chariot of God, To Cleanse America Of Sin One of the most powerful humans on Earth and presidential hopeful Kanye West has just ascended to an even higher plane of being. Throne Chariot of God and Archangel Merkabah
deus vult Kanye: "We Will Retake Jerusalem" America will be ushering in a new age of crusaders, according to presidential hopeful Kanye West. The rapper, now poised to turn America's democracy into a theocracy, insists that our