jihad Female Activision Blizzard Employees Must Now Wear Head Covering To Prevent Harassment Activision Blizzard, in the latest attempt to damage control their spiraling PR nightmare, has taken drastic measure to curb all sexual harassment in the workplace. Their HR department is under
god help us FDA Refuses To Approve Soulja Boy "Soulja Shot" Medicinal Injection Our prayers have finally been answered. The unending nightmare that's gripped our crumbling world, sending the sheep into a panicking frenzy, it's finally over. At least that's what Soulja Boy
we live in a society Derek Chauvin Accepts Plea Bargain Of Appearing On BLACKED America has emerged victorious from the era of Trump's hate and bigotry. Bills are being passed, people are being vaccinated, the immigrant children in cages are now being held in
piss world New Bill Makes Unskippable Google Ads Mandatory Before Every Mandatory Fact Check A controversial new bill was just passed by the Senate, making the unskippable Google ads before a mandatory fact check on any particular article or meme completely mandatory. The mandatory
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future has arrived today in
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piss world Joe Biden Declares Marvel Cinematic Universe To Be New National Religion Move over "Jesus", there is a new savior in town, several of them to be exact. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and more are now America's patron gods. The choice
wholesome WHOLESOME: President Biden Throws Out Trump's Cum Sock In an absolutely triumphant display of dominance, Joe Biden has made a symbolic gesture of the end of white supremacy in America by throwing out the White House Cum Sock,
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump
coronavirus Second Stimulus Bill Includes Millions In Gacha Microtransactions COVID has devastated the economy and left many families in need, and yet legislators in Washington still can't seem to come to agreement on how to fix the situation. Democrats
sissy hypno Biden: "All White Men Must Now Wear Maid Dresses And Take Estrogen" Biden has been projected winner of the 2020 election, and he's planning some big changes for the country to ensure nothing like Trump ever happens again. Executive orders are already
piss world In The Orwellian Future, Juggalos And Furries Stand As Unlikely Allies Against The Surveillance State The world we live in is quickly becoming a scary place. The rampant radicalization taking place across the world, civil unrest born of selfish and corrupt governments that ignore the
joe biden Biden: "We Should Legalize Crack" Joe Biden has been struggling to capture the hearts of voters across the country, being quite possibly the weakest choice and yet somehow being chosen to go head to head
piss Leftist Meme Page Admin Caught Plagiarizing Essay Portion Of Meme An absolutely disgraceful day in court today as popular leftist meme page "Just Anarcho-communist Things" was busted plagiarizing the essay portion of one of their memes. "I couldn't believe it.
god help us Barron Trump Chosen To Pilot Experimental Mecha To Fight Alien Menace President Trump's very own son Barron was given a great honor late last night, when NASA announced completion of their latest project. Three experimental cyborg mechas were given the green
breaking news BREAKING: The Q In Q-Anon Stands For Quizno's Authorities have finally figured out the identity of the mysterious hacker 4Chan, leader of Anonymous. Their latest plot, dubbed "Q-Anon", was an absolute mystery to federal agents, as the hacker
hyper-realistic Ellen: "The Red Mist Is Coming" Ellen had a rather bizarre message for her fans late last night, posting an enigmatic video to all of her socials. The video begins with Ellen in her room, playing
the end times Kanye Forges Pact With Merkabah, Throne Chariot of God, To Cleanse America Of Sin One of the most powerful humans on Earth and presidential hopeful Kanye West has just ascended to an even higher plane of being. Throne Chariot of God and Archangel Merkabah
clean your fucking controller GameStop Employee Accidentally Synthesizes Adrenochrome From Controller Scrapings A GameStop employee was in quite the shock yesterday after accidentally creating adrenochrome, the mythical drug supposedly used by the wealthy elite. "I dunno man, I was just doing my
breaking news Ghislaine Maxwell: "The 1% Get High And Play Kirby Air Ride All Day" The world has been waiting with baited breath for the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell, if it'll ever come. Some fear she won't survive long enough to testify. The long-time accomplice
poopoo peepee Kanye West Poops His Pants At White House Briefing Controversial rapper Kanye West surprised the nation when he announced he'd be running for president in 2020. No one was sure whether to take him seriously or not, but he
world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
wholesome Rioting Nationwide Abruptly Ends As Someone Cracks Open An Ice-Cold Pepsi An anonymous protestor has single-handedly ended the nationwide riots early this morning, when they cracked open a cool, refreshing Pepsi. As soon as the crisp sound of the can opening
cool shit REPORT: Rioting And Shooting Protestors Is Metal As Fuck Rioting, looting, and violent protest has broken out across the nation. Police have been shooting at protestors and using escalating brutality to combat the anarchy. And it's rad as fuck.
