wholesome BRAVE: Lockheed Martin Announce "Nuclear Pride Missiles" That Release Rainbow Mushroom Cloud Pride Month is already off to an impressive start. Corporations and celebrities, the most important people and groups in the world, are standing up and supporting the rights of LGBT
sonic the hedgehog Sega: "Sonic Origins Digital Deluxe Preorder Bonus Will Allow Sonic To Piss Between Stages" Sega's upcoming "Sonic Origins" collection has been a bizarre roller-coaster of headlines for anxious fans. A brand new collection of classic Sonic games, that have been pulled from all digital
jihad In Response To Sony And Microsoft Acquisitions, Nintendo Purchases Land, Guns, Bulk Ammo Sony and Microsoft have been on a buying spree lately, acquiring studios and IP left and right. Some of the biggest names in gaming, like Activision Blizzard and Bethesda, have
world war iii Duolingo Introduces "Duolingo For War" With international tensions rising and the threat of war looming overhead, many have felt a little uneasy. Your comfortable way of life may be threatened by forces out of your
super mario Machine Gun Kelly Declares Himself "Nintendo" After Being Turned Down For Upcoming Mario Movie The Super Mario Bros Movie, not the live action one but the animated one coming out later this year, has had many gamers holding their collective breath. What if it
god help us April Fools! The Weight Of All Your Sins Will Drag You Down To Hell April Fools! Uh oh, you've just gotten pranked. Big time. You clicked on this article expecting some proper news, but instead this is a silly article. Isn't that funny? Today
trolling BREAKING: People Still Not Listening To "Schizo Man" That Prophecized The Great War Coming War, famine, and plague have engulfed the world. The future is uncertain, resources are becoming scarce, doom seems to be looming overhead. And still, no one is listening to the
piss world Russia-Ukraine Conflict Actually Just Elaborate Call Of Duty Viral Marketing Stunt Just as it seemed we were on the brink of world war and all of our lives were about to be drastically changed for the worse for the profit of
orwellian nightmare Ukraine Escalates Use Of Wojak Memes After Russia Posts "Let People Enjoy Things" Meme We live in a dystopian world. A nightmare worse than anyone could have conceived. 1984, Brave New World, Soylent Green, They Live, all of them pale in comparison to what
world war iii Ukraine Deploys Freddy Fazbear On Invading Russian Forces Tensions between Ukraine and Russia have escalated into a full-scale invasion, and Ukraine is not backing down without a fight. The world may very well be on the brink of
world war iii President Biden Escalates Tensions With Russia After Being Unmatched On Tinder Thousands of troops were moved to Ukraine's border over the past week, and even more are expected to be sent shortly, after a disappointing day of swiping through Tinder for
wholesome chungus 100 Microsoft Acquires Domino's Amid Growing Need For Employee Pizza Parties It's a huge day for video games. Right when we thought Microsoft buying up Activision Blizzard was the craziest thing Microsoft would do this year, they immediately topped it by
facebook US Senator Calls For Social Media Sites To End "Schizoposting" Senators had a rare chance to grill Facebook's global head of safety, a corporation infamous for conducting strange secret psychological experiments on its users and mass-collecting their information. Unfortunately, for
we live in a society Chick-Fil-A Forced To Hire Black Employee Amid Labor Shortage Tough times have fallen on the American people. The economy has been devastated, political unrest is all over the news, and Walmart is no longer open 24 hours. It's like
we live in a society Shark Tale 2 Cancelled After Negative Reception To Scene Of Fish Being Shot 16 Times By Police Once again, the liberal left has taken something away from every good, red-blooded American. You can't live your life in this dystopian society anymore without those accursed libtards ruining everything.
jihad Female Activision Blizzard Employees Must Now Wear Head Covering To Prevent Harassment Activision Blizzard, in the latest attempt to damage control their spiraling PR nightmare, has taken drastic measure to curb all sexual harassment in the workplace. Their HR department is under
god help us FDA Refuses To Approve Soulja Boy "Soulja Shot" Medicinal Injection Our prayers have finally been answered. The unending nightmare that's gripped our crumbling world, sending the sheep into a panicking frenzy, it's finally over. At least that's what Soulja Boy
we live in a society Derek Chauvin Accepts Plea Bargain Of Appearing On BLACKED America has emerged victorious from the era of Trump's hate and bigotry. Bills are being passed, people are being vaccinated, the immigrant children in cages are now being held in
piss world New Bill Makes Unskippable Google Ads Mandatory Before Every Mandatory Fact Check A controversial new bill was just passed by the Senate, making the unskippable Google ads before a mandatory fact check on any particular article or meme completely mandatory. The mandatory
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future has arrived today in
wholesome chungus 100 Elon Musk Invents Brain Chip To Play Among Us In Real Life It's a brave new world we live in, computers can now do so much. And they can now do even more than your brain can. It's true. It's true. They
piss world Joe Biden Declares Marvel Cinematic Universe To Be New National Religion Move over "Jesus", there is a new savior in town, several of them to be exact. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and more are now America's patron gods. The choice
wholesome WHOLESOME: President Biden Throws Out Trump's Cum Sock In an absolutely triumphant display of dominance, Joe Biden has made a symbolic gesture of the end of white supremacy in America by throwing out the White House Cum Sock,
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump