politics Trump Has "Scary, Bleeding, Hyper-Realistic Eyes", Warns Democrats "Please get out and vote, please. You don't understand. Something needs to be done. Please. I'm so fucking scared, man. I'm so fucking
tech Apple's "Vision Pro" VR Headset Will Allow Demons To Show Themselves To Mankind Finally The final barriers are being broken. Soon, with the release of Apple's "mixed reality" headset, we will be able to mix the reality of our realm
america Trump Sentenced To Execution By Crucifixion It's a sad day for America, folks. Trump arraigned, patriots losing ground in states across the country. Nation is collapsing. But the worst news was yet to come.
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breaking news Chris Chan's And Alex Jones' Legal Teams Caught Exchanging Notes About "Dimensional Merge" Between Court Dates Conspiracy theories and fake news have gotten out of control to a terrifying degree in recent years. But thankfully, authorities have begun to crack down and squash this dangerous misinformation
holy war Logan Paul Exposed As Manifested Egregore Of The Worst Person Everyone Grew Up With Logan Paul has long been an incredibly controversial figure on the internet, always getting into some kind of shenanigans that leave people wondering how someone like this could really exist
we live in a society US Senators Attribute Rise In School Shootings To Violent TV Show Tom And Jerry With school shootings on the rise, Americans have been stricken with absolute terror. The places they once thought safe, like schools and shopping malls, are now targets for obscene violence.
elon musk FACT CHECK: Elon Musk Does NOT Have "Army Of Thumb Thumbs" Ready To Impose Martial Law When will you crazy conspiracy theorists learn? We don't live in some kind of crazy fantasy world, where billionaires are all plotting world domination. No one has any
wholesome BRAVE: Lockheed Martin Announce "Nuclear Pride Missiles" That Release Rainbow Mushroom Cloud Pride Month is already off to an impressive start. Corporations and celebrities, the most important people and groups in the world, are standing up and supporting the rights of LGBT
jihad In Response To Sony And Microsoft Acquisitions, Nintendo Purchases Land, Guns, Bulk Ammo Sony and Microsoft have been on a buying spree lately, acquiring studios and IP left and right. Some of the biggest names in gaming, like Activision Blizzard and Bethesda, have
i need to piss USDA Adds Microplastics To Top Of Food Pyramid The USDA has just released their updated model of the food pyramid, and there's a shocking new addition that has many experts scratching their heads. At the very
god help us April Fools! The Weight Of All Your Sins Will Drag You Down To Hell April Fools! Uh oh, you've just gotten pranked. Big time. You clicked on this article expecting some proper news, but instead this is a silly article. Isn'
trolling BREAKING: People Still Not Listening To "Schizo Man" That Prophecized The Great War Coming War, famine, and plague have engulfed the world. The future is uncertain, resources are becoming scarce, doom seems to be looming overhead. And still, no one is listening to the
piss world Russia-Ukraine Conflict Actually Just Elaborate Call Of Duty Viral Marketing Stunt Just as it seemed we were on the brink of world war and all of our lives were about to be drastically changed for the worse for the profit of
orwellian nightmare Ukraine Escalates Use Of Wojak Memes After Russia Posts "Let People Enjoy Things" Meme We live in a dystopian world. A nightmare worse than anyone could have conceived. 1984, Brave New World, Soylent Green, They Live, all of them pale in comparison to what
world war iii President Biden Escalates Tensions With Russia After Being Unmatched On Tinder Thousands of troops were moved to Ukraine's border over the past week, and even more are expected to be sent shortly, after a disappointing day of swiping through
sonic the hedgehog Sonic Fans Outraged That Sega Is Making A New Sonic Game Sega made Sonic fans furious today as they announced they would in fact be making a new Sonic game. Sonic fans took to the internet to voice their anger, some
facebook US Senator Calls For Social Media Sites To End "Schizoposting" Senators had a rare chance to grill Facebook's global head of safety, a corporation infamous for conducting strange secret psychological experiments on its users and mass-collecting their information.
god help us FDA Refuses To Approve Soulja Boy "Soulja Shot" Medicinal Injection Our prayers have finally been answered. The unending nightmare that's gripped our crumbling world, sending the sheep into a panicking frenzy, it's finally over. At least
trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world
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piss world Joe Biden Declares Marvel Cinematic Universe To Be New National Religion Move over "Jesus", there is a new savior in town, several of them to be exact. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and more are now America's
piss world In The Orwellian Future, Juggalos And Furries Stand As Unlikely Allies Against The Surveillance State The world we live in is quickly becoming a scary place. The rampant radicalization taking place across the world, civil unrest born of selfish and corrupt governments that ignore the
kanye west BREAKING: Trump And Biden Worked Together To Stop Kanye Presidency Biden and Trump have gone head to head for an incredibly tense election, with the entire country anxiously waiting for one of these people we absolutely did not want to
joe biden Biden: "I Could've Stopped The Pandemic Sooner, I'm Built Different" With the election drawing ever closer, Joe Biden took an opportunity to make a few jabs at Trump in a recent interview. COVID-19 has ravaged the globe, and brought America&