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i need to piss USDA Adds Microplastics To Top Of Food Pyramid The USDA has just released their updated model of the food pyramid, and there's a shocking new addition that has many experts scratching their heads. At the very top of
pokemon Pokémon Fans Outraged As Nintendo Makes Non-Charizard Related Announcement Nintendo recently shook up the Pokémon formula with Pokémon Legends: Arceus, an installment that left many wondering if Pokémon would pursue this new direction with its main installments, or if
orwellian nightmare Ukraine Escalates Use Of Wojak Memes After Russia Posts "Let People Enjoy Things" Meme We live in a dystopian world. A nightmare worse than anyone could have conceived. 1984, Brave New World, Soylent Green, They Live, all of them pale in comparison to what
we live in a society Shark Tale 2 Cancelled After Negative Reception To Scene Of Fish Being Shot 16 Times By Police Once again, the liberal left has taken something away from every good, red-blooded American. You can't live your life in this dystopian society anymore without those accursed libtards ruining everything.
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trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
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piss world Joe Biden Declares Marvel Cinematic Universe To Be New National Religion Move over "Jesus", there is a new savior in town, several of them to be exact. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and more are now America's patron gods. The choice
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump
coronavirus Second Stimulus Bill Includes Millions In Gacha Microtransactions COVID has devastated the economy and left many families in need, and yet legislators in Washington still can't seem to come to agreement on how to fix the situation. Democrats
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joe biden Biden: "We Should Legalize Crack" Joe Biden has been struggling to capture the hearts of voters across the country, being quite possibly the weakest choice and yet somehow being chosen to go head to head
bill gates Government Releases Plan To Force Sissy Femboy Shots On Everyone The Trump Administration along with Bill Gates have officially released their plans to forcefully inject everyone in the world with sissy feminization serum. The "vaccine", as they're calling it, will
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piss Leftist Meme Page Admin Caught Plagiarizing Essay Portion Of Meme An absolutely disgraceful day in court today as popular leftist meme page "Just Anarcho-communist Things" was busted plagiarizing the essay portion of one of their memes. "I couldn't believe it.
god help us Barron Trump Chosen To Pilot Experimental Mecha To Fight Alien Menace President Trump's very own son Barron was given a great honor late last night, when NASA announced completion of their latest project. Three experimental cyborg mechas were given the green
hyper-realistic Ellen: "The Red Mist Is Coming" Ellen had a rather bizarre message for her fans late last night, posting an enigmatic video to all of her socials. The video begins with Ellen in her room, playing
poopoo peepee Kanye West Poops His Pants At White House Briefing Controversial rapper Kanye West surprised the nation when he announced he'd be running for president in 2020. No one was sure whether to take him seriously or not, but he
wholesome Rioting Nationwide Abruptly Ends As Someone Cracks Open An Ice-Cold Pepsi An anonymous protestor has single-handedly ended the nationwide riots early this morning, when they cracked open a cool, refreshing Pepsi. As soon as the crisp sound of the can opening
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assassin's creed Ubisoft Confirms New Assassin's Creed Will Suck This Year Too Assassin's Creed fans have been eagerly awaiting the next installment in the Assassin's Creed franchise, desperate for any bit of news from Ubisoft on what the newest title might include.