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war crimes Trump Pardons LMFAO For Party Rocking Trump cemented his legacy with his final acts as president, rescinding his initial executive order to "Drain the Swamp" and issuing a number of pardons to questionable people. Among them
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump
coronavirus Second Stimulus Bill Includes Millions In Gacha Microtransactions COVID has devastated the economy and left many families in need, and yet legislators in Washington still can't seem to come to agreement on how to fix the situation. Democrats
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kanye west BREAKING: Trump And Biden Worked Together To Stop Kanye Presidency Biden and Trump have gone head to head for an incredibly tense election, with the entire country anxiously waiting for one of these people we absolutely did not want to
4 inches is average Trump And Biden Both Refuse Mandatory Penis Inspection The race for the presidency has been extremely tight, and we still have no idea which of the two was able to commit voter fraud more successfully. It could be
joe biden Biden: "We Should Legalize Crack" Joe Biden has been struggling to capture the hearts of voters across the country, being quite possibly the weakest choice and yet somehow being chosen to go head to head
bill gates Government Releases Plan To Force Sissy Femboy Shots On Everyone The Trump Administration along with Bill Gates have officially released their plans to forcefully inject everyone in the world with sissy feminization serum. The "vaccine", as they're calling it, will
presidential debate Both Trump And Biden Don't Know Who Painted Mona Lisa The first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden was an absolute clusterfuck. Complete shitshow. Neither of them could get anything coherent out, or make any actual points. I
politics Senate Can't Agree On Whether To Photoshop RBG Into Heaven Or Hell Meme It was sad news when Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed, but with her passing comes the important debate that the fate of America hinges on. Does she belong in Meme Heaven
joe biden Biden: "I Could've Stopped The Pandemic Sooner, I'm Built Different" With the election drawing ever closer, Joe Biden took an opportunity to make a few jabs at Trump in a recent interview. COVID-19 has ravaged the globe, and brought America's
god help us Barron Trump Chosen To Pilot Experimental Mecha To Fight Alien Menace President Trump's very own son Barron was given a great honor late last night, when NASA announced completion of their latest project. Three experimental cyborg mechas were given the green
breaking news BREAKING: The Q In Q-Anon Stands For Quizno's Authorities have finally figured out the identity of the mysterious hacker 4Chan, leader of Anonymous. Their latest plot, dubbed "Q-Anon", was an absolute mystery to federal agents, as the hacker
breaking news Biden And Trump Unite To Stop Space Colony ARK From Crashing Into Earth In a shocking turn of events, the Democratic convention ended with both Biden and Trump hand in hand. The two eternal rivals were forced to team up in a surprise
furries Trump Adds Fur Affinity To Growing List Of Banned Social Media Platforms The war against TikTok and WeChat was only the beginning for President Trump, as he's now taken to banning even more problematic social networking sites from operating. Popular furry website
hyper-realistic Ellen: "The Red Mist Is Coming" Ellen had a rather bizarre message for her fans late last night, posting an enigmatic video to all of her socials. The video begins with Ellen in her room, playing
clean your fucking controller GameStop Employee Accidentally Synthesizes Adrenochrome From Controller Scrapings A GameStop employee was in quite the shock yesterday after accidentally creating adrenochrome, the mythical drug supposedly used by the wealthy elite. "I dunno man, I was just doing my
breaking news Ghislaine Maxwell: "The 1% Get High And Play Kirby Air Ride All Day" The world has been waiting with baited breath for the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell, if it'll ever come. Some fear she won't survive long enough to testify. The long-time accomplice
poopoo peepee Kanye West Poops His Pants At White House Briefing Controversial rapper Kanye West surprised the nation when he announced he'd be running for president in 2020. No one was sure whether to take him seriously or not, but he
china Trump Calls To Remove "Chinese Fighter" From Smash Amid Rising COVID Tensions President Trump had a lot to say this morning about the newest addition to the Super Smash Bros roster, ARMS representative Min Min. While there were many hoping for a
wholesome World Officials Call For Beach Episode Amid International Riots And Pandemics The UN has called for an international beach episode in response to the nonstop slew of war, strife, famine, and plague. The world needs some ass and titties now more
world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
joe biden Joe Biden Declares That He Will Be America's First Black President Former vice president Joe Biden has officially announced today that he will be the first black president of the United States. With tensions escalating as the election draws near, Biden
coronavirus Report: Trump Suggests Injecting Red Lobster Biscuits To Cure COVID-19 In an official statement from the White House today, President Donald Trump addressed the nation with a new COVID-19 update, stating that America's top scientists had finally found a true
