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trolling United Nations Deploys Anti-Trolling Task Force Following an unprecedented and completely out of the blue surge in "trolling" across the globe, the United Nations has been called upon by every country in the world to help
girl power New Female Fully Autonomous Military Drones Will Be Thick As Fuck, Vaporize Minorities On Sight History is being made today as the US military welcomes the world's first fully autonomous female drones into its ranks. The "The Future is Female" future has arrived today in
piss world Joe Biden Declares Marvel Cinematic Universe To Be New National Religion Move over "Jesus", there is a new savior in town, several of them to be exact. Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, and more are now America's patron gods. The choice
4 inches is average Donald Trump Sentenced To Life In Chastity Cage Donald Trump will never cum again. After four years, the tyrannical, Orwellian nightmare of Trump's America has finally come to a satisfying conclusion. Congress delivered the lifetime sentence to Trump
coronavirus Second Stimulus Bill Includes Millions In Gacha Microtransactions COVID has devastated the economy and left many families in need, and yet legislators in Washington still can't seem to come to agreement on how to fix the situation. Democrats
wholesome Trump Supporters Start GoFundMe For Israel Foreign Aid Budget In Protest Of Biden Win Joe Biden has been the projected winner of the presidential election, and the media has completely snubbed Trump and his supporters despite how loudly they've voiced their discontent. Some have
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joe biden Biden: "I Could've Stopped The Pandemic Sooner, I'm Built Different" With the election drawing ever closer, Joe Biden took an opportunity to make a few jabs at Trump in a recent interview. COVID-19 has ravaged the globe, and brought America's
piss Leftist Meme Page Admin Caught Plagiarizing Essay Portion Of Meme An absolutely disgraceful day in court today as popular leftist meme page "Just Anarcho-communist Things" was busted plagiarizing the essay portion of one of their memes. "I couldn't believe it.
breaking news BREAKING: The Q In Q-Anon Stands For Quizno's Authorities have finally figured out the identity of the mysterious hacker 4Chan, leader of Anonymous. Their latest plot, dubbed "Q-Anon", was an absolute mystery to federal agents, as the hacker
furries Trump Adds Fur Affinity To Growing List Of Banned Social Media Platforms The war against TikTok and WeChat was only the beginning for President Trump, as he's now taken to banning even more problematic social networking sites from operating. Popular furry website
esports Competitive Smash Players Must Now Register Into A Database, Notify Neighbors Competitive Smash players now cannot legally be within 500 feet of schools, and must notify neighbors, thanks to a new law passed after the latest grooming scandal. The new law
breaking news Ghislaine Maxwell: "The 1% Get High And Play Kirby Air Ride All Day" The world has been waiting with baited breath for the trial of Ghislaine Maxwell, if it'll ever come. Some fear she won't survive long enough to testify. The long-time accomplice
fuck jimmy kimmel BLM Tear Down Jimmy Kimmel Statues Not Because He Did Blackface But Just Because He's Not Funny Black Lives Matter protestors have begun tearing down statues of unfunny talentless shill Jimmy Kimmel, completely unrelated to the blackface photos that surfaced recently. Yes, Jimmy Kimmel did blackface long
wholesome World Officials Call For Beach Episode Amid International Riots And Pandemics The UN has called for an international beach episode in response to the nonstop slew of war, strife, famine, and plague. The world needs some ass and titties now more
world news Protestors Urged To Insert Disc 2 As D.C. Is Engulfed In Flames Rioting nationwide has raged out of control, President Donald Trump has gone into hiding within a bunker, and the nation must now insert the second disc into the PlayStation console
wholesome Rioting Nationwide Abruptly Ends As Someone Cracks Open An Ice-Cold Pepsi An anonymous protestor has single-handedly ended the nationwide riots early this morning, when they cracked open a cool, refreshing Pepsi. As soon as the crisp sound of the can opening
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bestiality New Study Finds Fucking Your Dog Prevents COVID-19 Leading experts on the COVID-19 pandemic have made a startling breakthrough in the fight against this horrible disease. There may just be a cure yet for the COVID-19 virus. It
